Gazans Told They’ll Have World’s Attention Once Drake/Kendrick Feud Is Resolved


PALESTINIANS begging for the world’s help and immediate intervention as the Israeli army bomb Rafah have been told to ‘read the room’ and have some respect for the ongoing diss track feud between rappers Drake and Kendrick Lamar.

“Shit you think we have time for that? Kendrick called Drake a pedo, and I’m still digesting the Met Gala AND Eurovision is on, you’re asking a lot here guys,” said one fan of all the rap that doesn’t touch upon social issues.

Rafah, home to 1.4mn displaced people in dire need of aid, have been told by the IDF that this very location they were told to flee to is now somewhere they have to flee from.

“Someone was shot outside Drake’s house! Do you not get how serious this is? Chill, we’ll get round to you eventually,” said a significant section of the world, seemingly indifferent to their plight.

Despite the head of the UN World Food Programme, Cindy McCain, stating bluntly that there is a full-blown famine in northern Gaza, the most pressing issue in the world today for some people is to watch 4 hour long Youtube videos dissecting the rappers’ feud.

Meanwhile, the White House’s latest response to Benjamin Netanyahu’s endless lust for civilian slaughter has given a small ray of hope to some.

“I’ve temporarily delayed an arms shipment, now where’s my Nobel Peace Prize?” queried Joe Biden, whose response to the unfolding war crimes have been so meek an increasing number of people can look at Donald Trump, a man who slept with a pornstar because he reminded her of his daughter, and conclude he’s the lesser of two evils.