Peace Loving Netanyahu Punches Hole In Wall At News Hamas Accepts Ceasefire Proposal


ISRAEL’S war crimer-in-chief Benjamin Netanyahu has spent much of the morning on the phone looking for a plasterer after punching a hole in the wall after learning that Hamas have done what many experts feared was unlikely and signed up to ceasefire terms proposed by Egypt.

It is Netanyahu’s intention to further starve aid corridors into Gaza by invading the city of Rafah, but his hopes of adding the appalling death toll and ongoing human suffering have taken a dent with news that Hamas could consider a new deal that could involve the return of hostages.

“I 100% want the safe return of hostages and an end to this all, my choices have in no way been guided by the fact war can distract from criminal probes into me, and that I can only hold onto power by asking ‘how high?’ when my ultra-nationalist partners in powers says ‘jump’,” confirmed Netanyahu, punching a second hole in the current hole in an attempt to fix it.

“I am in no way excited by how horrified my usual allies in the west are at what I’m planning to do in Rafah, I am, as I said before just trying bring those hostages home,” said Netanyahu, while disconnecting the phone line in his office lest he receive a phone call confirming Hamas’ fresh terms.

“I’ve got it; it’s antisemitic to agree to a cessation in hostilities against Israel,” Netanyahu half-heartedly ventured as the noise of pro-ceasefire protests by Israelis could be heard outside his window.