“I’ve A Few Priests On My Incoming List Alright But No Bambie Thug” Satan Confirms


FOLLOWING the back lash online over Ireland’s entry choice for Eurovision ’24, Bambie Thug, WWN travels to the depths of hell to ask are the rumours mainly spread by your terrified Catholic aunt on Facebook true; is Bambi one of Lucifer’s very own spawn on earth?

“Bambie Thug… Bambie Thug… hmmm there’s nothing here for the next one thousand years anyway,” the Lord of Darkness told WWN while checking his incoming list, before we suggested checking Bambie’s real name, Cuntry Ray Robinson, “nope… I’ve a Roman Catholic priest by the name of Fr. James Robinson from Birmingham alright who’s doing 21 years for 21 charges of sexually abusing boys – lenient sentencing even if I do say so myself – but yeah, I’ve a lot of priests here on the list. I don’t know where I’m going to fit them all”.

Confirming our suspicions that the non-binary singer’s performance may have just been a camp over-the-top theatrical act developed with one eye on a notoriously camp and over-the-top song contest, Satan suggested that maybe it’s the people claiming it was one of his creations who were actually Satanically minded as this is exactly the kind of thing he would do.

“I suppose suspicion haunts the guilty,” Satan pointed out, before concluding, “if a piece of art makes someone so uncomfortable to question themselves to such a degree that it causes them to act out in a public fashion, then that performance is obviously doing all the right things by bringing the badness out of people – shit always floats to the top”.