THE NATION has been given compassionate leave today as it deals with the passing of Ireland’s official grandad and first acceptable Gay, broadcaster Gay Byrne, who passed away aged 85. The role of the nation’s grandad is now occupied by president Michael D. Higgins who has been placed in a secure facility made entirely of… Read more »
“You were our rock while we were hungover, you gave us leverage over our kids when they wouldn’t eat their dinners, you are the best child minder we ever had; thank you, Sony Playstation 2, 3 and 4, thank you, from the bottom of our hearts”: this was the emotional tribute given by a county… Read more »
AN EMERGENCY meeting of the Beechwood estate residents association has called for immediate action over one family’s insistence in decorating the outside of their house in elaborate and over the top Halloween decorations, like they’re American or something, living in America. The Moores, who reside in no. 35 with the blue garage door and the… Read more »
KEEN to let everyone know how unique a personality you are through the artistic medium of expressing your creativity via a Halloween costume? Have you considered going against the grain and upending expectations by dressing up as a character from an insanely popular movie that is tracking to make nearly $1 billion at the box… Read more »
COBBLING together what he could in a last minute effort to find something to wear to a fancy dress house party, one Dublin man has settled on dressing up as an asshole who just can’t take a hint, it can be revealed. Among the predictable fare of the same old popular and cliched costume, Dubliner… Read more »
RTÉ have unveiled a number of new environmentally-focused schemes that will kick into action over the next few weeks, starting with an update to the creaking old diesel-powered RTÉ Player, which currently dumps tonnes of carbon into the atmosphere as it tries to keep up with the nine people who still use it. The player had… Read more »
FANS HAVE BEEN queuing up outside New York’s Broadway and London’s West End areas as the fizzy drink/Andrew Loyld Webber crossover extravaganza no one knew they wanted premiers just in time for Halloween. “Brand synergy and songs bursting with juicy orange flavour? Who do I have to bribe to get a ticket,” exclaimed one excited… Read more »
BRITISH archaeologists excavating Silbury Hill at the ancient site of Stonehenge have today unearthed what is believed to be the skeletal remains of 3,000-year-old teletubby, placing the extinction of the humanoid race even later than previously thought. During a routine dig, archaeologists working under Professor Gareth Montini of Oxford University discovered an unusually enlarged skull in a mounded area near Stonehenge,… Read more »
ALTHOUGH the vast majority of the Halloween-enjoying population has yet to pick out their fancy dress costume for this year’s festivities, Waterford native Sheila Keeling has had hers picked out since May – and if she’s really being honest, she’s had it in mind since September of last year. Keeling, who describes Halloween as being… Read more »
THE HIGHLY controversial movie (according to online media) has been the source of fierce debate (according to online media) sparking calls for discussions on how movie violence encourages real life imitators (according to online media). The Joker, released today in cinemas, illegal downloads, in the ‘synopsis’ section of Wikipedia pages and in carefully crafted online… Read more »
