Diehard Feminist Girlfriend Has Strange Condition Where Limbs Stop Working When Menial Task Needs Doing

LOCAL MAN Stephen Heaney is worried for the health of his girlfriend Laura Ward after witnessing firsthand the negative effects a seemingly transient physiological condition has on her life.

Menial tasks which seem to set off the emerging ailment include the taking out of bins, the returning or taking items from the attic, shed, presses and anything that could be designated as a ‘man’ job by an ignorant reductive and oppressive patriarchy.

“I can’t say ‘would you think about going to the doctor?’ because bodily autonomy is a big sore point for her obviously, and then what if the doctor is a man?” explained Heaney, scrambling for a way to get Ward the help she needs.

“The garden fence fell down there last week while I was away, and God love her, there was nothing she could do about it,” added Heaney, desperately seeking for a way to help his girlfriend of three years, “but it’s the memory loss which is most difficult, during these spells she has no recollection of spending years saying ‘men and women are equal’, ‘a woman can do anything a man can’ and ‘total and complete parity in life must be achieved'”.

The as-yet-unnamed but debilitating condition, when combined with Ward’s objections to fulfilling traditionally ‘female duties’ around the house such as cooking, cleaning and laundry, risks limiting the things the 27-year-old deems herself capable of.

“It’s just awful to see her go through it, and the condition is so rare, it’s not like she can talk to fellow sufferers about it,” concluded Heaney, who had to cut the interview short as he had drive Ward’s car to the garage for a service.

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