Blinken Arrives In Israel To Renegotiate Ceasefire, Show New 2025 Season Arms Brochure

US Secretary of State Antony Blinken has arrived in Israel in a bid to revive ceasefire efforts and to showcase next year’s spring/summer catalogue of US made arms.

“Hopefully with the assassination of Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar we can renegotiate a ceasefire, and you will receive 25% off bunker busting bombs using the discount code ‘COLLATERALDAMAGE’,” Blinken told awaiting Israeli officials as he passed them the brand new glossy covered arms brochure.

The US along with Egypt and Qatar have brokered months of ceasefire talks between Israel and Hamas, trying to strike a deal to release hostages in return for an end to the war, but not an end to supplying billions of dollars in military hardware.

“These ones here will vaporise any civilians so you won’t even have to worry about their remains being used for bad press and will stop those embarrassing wailing Palestinian women moments on Al Jazeera,” Blinken explained, highlighting a centerfold page entitled ‘Special Offer on GBU-39’.

Blinken’s visit, the 11th such attempt at peace in over a year, has become a bit of regular meet and greet with his Israeli counterparts hoping to strike nice deals on weaponry, pretendy ceasefire talks.

“Skip to page 57 there to our long-range ballistic missile section; perfect for a war with a country a few thousand miles away,” Blinken winked, as officials asked what ‘price on application’ meant in Hebrew. “Those ones are for next year when we, sorry, when you guys are dragged into an unjustified war through no fault of your own that will require some more allied assistance,” he concluded, before asking who a guy has to kill around here for a straight scotch and ice.

We design & sell funny t-shirts, mugs, hoodies and more to help keep the lights on. Check them out here www.waterfordwhispers.shop