Local Man Preferred When It Was Called Monkey Pox

“I’M A MONKEY pox purist that way, I suppose. I still call U2 ‘The Hype’,” local man Colm Drummond told WWN in an exclusive interview given in the wake of the WHO declaring ‘mpox’ a global public health emergency.

“And I’m not saying people in the DRC dying is funny, not at all, but Monkey Pox is categorically a funny sounding yoke,” added Drummond and in process outlining some of the reasons the WHO have labeled the infectious disease which can cause a painful rash, enlarged lymph nodes and fever with a different name.

Drummond insisted the fight to refer to it as Monkey Pox isn’t a trivial matter and is part of a larger battle around the world.

“Opel Fruits, Jif, Marathon, our history and traditions are being erased before our very eyes and we take it lying down,” explained Drummond becoming quite emotional.

WHO head honcho Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus warned that the endemic variant ‘clade I’ is more contagious and that your mad aunt on Facebook will soon return to nonstop conspiracy theory posting about how someone in the Irish Army said they’ve been ordered to shut down the country at midnight.

“You can call it mpox all you like, but I’ll be asking Trisha in accounts if she’s Monkey Pox’d after she gets back from her holiday Morocco. A small act of defiance like that. And by the way I’m not on board with this Czechia nonsense either, it’s Czech Republic, end of,” Drummond offered.

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