Local Woman Can’t Believe Work Expects Her To Carry On Like Molly Mae & Tommy Fury Didn’t Just Break Up

STOPPING SHORT of filing a formal complaint with HR, Jess O’Loughnane is beside herself with soul-shattering parasocial grief and in need of some basic humanity from her employers following the untimely passing of Molly Mae Hague and Tommy Fury’s relationship.

“How can you all sit here talking Q4 projections when there’s Daily Mail articles about Tommy’s secret lovechild to be reading, you’re unhinged” O’Loughnane shouted in an outburst brought on by the sociopathic behaviour of her colleagues and managers who are just carrying on their day like nothing happened.

“I’ve straight up just cried in the toilets most of the morning, and those psychos in there are acting like the most heartbreaking news of the 21st century didn’t happen,” added O’Loughnane, making sure to shout the word ‘psychos’ so the whole office could hear her.

Changing her social media profiles to a black and white photo of Hague and Fury in the shape of a heart torn in two, O’Loughnane set her out of office email to ‘I can’t reply to your query right now as I’m currently being crushed to death by the weight of knowing true love is a fucking lie’.

“Oh Joanne’s husband dies and it’s all ‘take as much time as you need’ but I can’t even get a half day for the most devastating thing that has happened in 2024, this is Molly Mae and Tommy we’re talking about! I met Joanne’s husband once and if you ask me he was boring and smelled weird,” complained O’Loughnane.

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