North Korean Soldiers Sent To Fight In Ukraine Enjoying Well Deserved Respite From North Korea

“I’M BEING shot at constantly, I could die at any moment, I’m the replacement cannon fodder for the young Russian men Putin sent to their deaths; it’s such a nice and relaxing holiday,” confirmed one of a rumoured 10,000 strong contingent of North Korean soldiers sent by Kim Jong Un to boost casualty numbers for Vladimir Putin.

“My brother cried and cried and cried when he got the devastating news he wasn’t going to the Russian front lines like lucky me,” said another soldier reclining in a luxurious trench and eating from a ration pack deserving of a North Korean state banquet.

“Being sold off to by my fearless leader to his ally as a slave soldier is a huge honour and perhaps my days living in a poor country besieged by the constant threat of starvation are behind me, and in completely unrelated news do you know the Ukrainian for ‘I’m deserting the army and am seeking asylum please’,” said another soldier with a life expectancy of the end of the week.

The introduction of North Korean troops into an active war zone in Europe could force the US to reconsider relenting to Ukraine’s request to support Ukraine carrying out attacks on Russian soil.

“This intervention by North Korea in Ukraine will not go unpunished, Israel will receive all the arms it asks for,” confirmed a White House spokesperson.

UPDATE: Russia’s plight under Putin has become so dire that North Koreans have been sent to Moscow to fall out of 10th storey windows as Russia continues to endure a shortage not only in soldiers but of oligarchs and former Putin loyalists who are prone to defenestration.