Animal Experts Issue Warning Over XL Bully Goldfish

EXPERTS warn that new breeds of ripped goldfish are more likely to kill other fish in your tank and spend all day benching little submerged boats, shells and whatever other decorations you have in a bid to remain ‘jacked’.

XL Bully goldfish are the latest animal to come under the media spotlight, forcing many owners to defend their choice of goldfish breed.

“Sure, Tyson is a little moody and constantly looking at himself in the mirrored fishbowl, flexing his gills, but if other XLs are aggressive it’s usually down to the owner,” local XL Bully goldfish owner Thomas Weir defended the breed.

Despite their huge size, XL Bully goldfish are notoriously impotent and are very difficult to breed due their genital papilla being a lot smaller than other normal goldfish.

“Yeah, but all the other female goldfish love their muscles, so there’s that important fact people aren’t taking into account,” added Mr. Weir, a 54-year-old bachelor living alone with his fish, “it’s not the size of your genital papilla, it’s how you use it!”

Meanwhile, Irish pet shops have agreed to stop selling XL bully goldfish from next year, sparking a wave of insecure male customers wearing gold chains and tracksuits requesting them before the ban.

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