New Law Will Allow People Slap Loud Yawners With A Shovel

FOLLOWING years of High Court battles the People Against Loud Yawning Front (PALYF) were celebrating today after a judge ruled it is now legal to slap people who yawn excessively loud with a shovel, WWN reports.

Breaking down outside the courts today, leader of the group Anna Stapleton thanked her legal team and supporters for being with her all the way and seeing this law finally passed which is set to change the way people have to put up with annoyingly loud yawners.

“For 23 years I’ve been put through hell by my husband who sporadically yawns without warning or any reprieve,” an emotional Mrs. Stapleton told the media, clutching a brand-new shovel in her right hand waving it like a trophy, “today the yawning ends,” she added as a small crowd erupted with applause.

The new law is expected to be rolled out next week and will ‘allow people startled by a a loud yawn to pick up a shovel and slap the offending yawner square in the back of the head until it makes a humourous ding sound’, with the responsibilities for any injuries sustained laying solely on the yawner.

“Could this law be misused? Certainly, but it’s a risk we are willing to take as a nation,” Justice Minister Helen McEntee admitted.

It is estimated there are over 250,000 loud yawners operating across Ireland causing unknown damage to those around them with help lines now running 24/7 for people suffering with a yawner in their life.

“I just can’t wait to bend that shovel around his thick skull,” victim of excessively loud yawning Teresa Hayes told WWN, who is married to a chronic yawner, “hopefully they can also extend this law to breaking wind in people’s company too, but I won’t hold my breath”.