Harris Vows To Reveal Election Date If New TikTok Get 100k Likes

TAOISEACH SIMON Harris has pledged to reveal the date of the impending Irish general election provided he is bestowed with 100k likes on his next TikTok video.

“Hey guys, it the T-Shock don’t-stop-gotta-rock-Sinn-Féin-flip-flop here,” began Harris, as he tried to transform a desperate public’s desire for a chance to change its government into some social media points.

“It’s my intention for the Dáil to go full term obvz but maybe, just maybe, if a certain group AKA the Irish public throw a few likes my way, who knows, maybe we achieve a vibe change and I’ll tell you it’s going to be the end of November,” said Harris in a message to the public.

“As you might have seen from that Prime Time report, the TikTok algorithm is basically rotting young folks’ brains, which explains Sinn Féin’s popularity with young people, am I right? But seriously, like any fellow young person, I don’t get my endorphins from improving the lives of others but from cheap, brief hits of social media adulation so 100k likes and the election date is yours”.

“And just FYI I’ve switched off stitches on this vid, because last time someone just put my speech next to a load of stats like record homelessness, scoliosis waiting lists, no autism supports in schools for kids, lack of mental health supports etc. Very not cool guys,” concluded the Taoiseach.

UPDATE: It is believed Harris will attempt a ‘in da klurb we all fam’ trend video despite his PR team trying to confiscate his phone.

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