Local Man To Check Back In On Champion’s League In January When It’s Got Its Act Together

FACED with needing the immense permutation deciphering powers of the world’s leading supercomputer in order to understand the new format of the Champions League, local man Dylan Flannery has told the UEFA run competition he’ll be in touch again early next year whenever the knock out stages start up.

“If I hear the words ‘projected points needed to qualify’ one more time I’m permanently switching to fucking cricket,” said Flannery after TV pundits excitedly discussed how teams who will never play each other will be neck and neck in the same league table.

“Look it UEFA, you’re clearly still figuring stuff out get back to be me in January when this starts to resemble an actual fucking cup competition, sound,” offered Flannery, who felt like trying to watch a game in Europe’s top competition started to resemble trying to follow science-y bits in Oppenheimer all over again.

“And it’s on a Thursday now as well?” said Flannery, throwing his hands up in dismay.

Elsewhere, a number of local education and training colleges are to begin offering courses aimed at football fans which will seek to give them a better understanding of the new format. The 6-year degree course has a total in-class lectures totaling 60 hours a week.