Self Service Checkout Manufacturers Finally Sued For False Advertising

BILLIONS of shoppers around the world have reportedly welcomed the news that self-service checkout manufacturers will now face a global lawsuit over false advertising claims, WWN reports.

In the lawsuit, self-service tills were said to be far from what they claimed as customers regularly must wait for assistance when the machine fails to do its job creating a frustrating experience for customers who just want to get through with their shopping without any human interactions.

“Assistants are never there when they’re needed so the whole ‘self’ part of the ‘self-service till’ claim is false and I hope they get the bollix sued off them,” said one local shopper and introvert Domica Lyons from Cabra, who has had years of her life wasted by the machines.

Ignoring calls to have air raid sirens installed to hurry up staff in assisting customers, supermarket stores defended the machines as it beats having to pay customer service staff minimum wage and ensure there’s enough staff on the floor to give some actual customer service.

“We’d replace every member of staff with robots to save money if we could, but people are fickle creatures who seem to like the convenience of getting through a checkout till without having to be delayed by a crumpled barcode or dodgy scale,” a spokesperson for Tesco concluded on the matter.