Moving: Irish People Are Donating Their Urine For Grave Of Army General Involved In Bloody Sunday Massacre

FEARFUL that the grave of recently deceased former British general Mike Jackson could be located on a barren desert-like tundra Irish people are donating their urine to unsure the soil has enough moisture.

“I’ve just downed 8 litres of water, I’d hate to think the grass would wither away starved of moisture, it’s the least I could do,” shared one Irish person paying for express delivery of vast quantities of urine to be transported to England.

“You know you’ve made a truly horrible contribution to the world when you are the most controversial person to ever be named Michael Jackson,” said another Irish person filling up several bottles.

In the role of adjutant on the day of the Bloody Sunday massacre when the British Army murdered 14 civilians, Jackson is being mourned in English media outlets as if he was entirely different person who played no part in the war crime and also wasn’t the person who spread the lie to the media that Ballymurphy Massacre victims were carrying guns.

Jackson was later knighted by the Queen in 1998 for contributions to imperial war crimes.

“It only took him 38 years to admit the soldiers had opened fire on civilians and murdered them in cold blood, top bloke,” confirmed one person, who had heard human faeces is actually the best fertiliser for grave top soil.

UPDATE: Over 400,000 gallons of urine has been donated to the graveside, with contributions from Iraqi people, who didn’t want to miss out due to Jackson’s justifying of the illegal invasion of Iraq during his time as head of the British forces.