McIlroy Endures 2nd Worst Experience Of Anyone On A Golf Course Yesterday

AS RORY MCILROY’S inner circle commiserates with the world no.3 over yet another tournament disappointment, some have felt the need to point out he can only feel so sorry for himself.

“Look Rorsy Bors, obviously not the result you want pal but I think maybe tone down ‘this is the worst Sunday anyone has had on golf course today’ rhetoric,” explained one friend, keen to point some people were subject to assassination plots while playing a round.

In no way undermining the hurt and frustration that comes from leading the Irish Open for much of the tournament only to be pipped by Rasmus Højgaard to the trophy, confidants to the 4-time major winner tried to make getting a runner’s up cheque of €595,000 sound almost positive in comparison to other people’s experiences.

“Being ‘pipped’ can also mean something very different on a golf course these days, am I right? Could be worse. Sure some try-hards on social media are saying you bottled it, shat your pants again, but there’s a lad in Florida who genuinely had cause to shit his pant y’know. This game is all about perspective,” added one of McIlroy’s inner circle.

UPDATE: Reports have come into WWN that Waterford man Sean Cafflin had an irrefutably worse Sunday on a golf course than anyone else on the planet after he lost five balls on his first round of golf with his futre father-in-law.