“Is That Summer Over Then?” Complains Man Who Spent Week Complaining About Heat

LOCAL man Terry Hennessey found another reason to crib today after realising the heat he was giving out about all week has come to an abrupt end, sparking him to now complain about its duration.

Moaning since Monday that he couldn’t sleep, work, think, or hold a non-weather based conversation, the 36-year-old awoke to a slightly overcast 17 degrees this morning, before drafting up today’s grievance.

“We barely had a couple of nice days and it’s gone already and back to the rain tomorrow I heard,” the melt told a barista this morning, the same barista who spent the previous mornings watching him sigh, wipe his brow and announce he was ‘bet’ while waiting for his iced coffee.

“It won’t be long now till they’re back in school and Christmas just around the corner. Sure the nights are closing in already. Can I get an extra hot cappuccino to heat me up, please.”

Hennessey is believed to be one out of every three Irish people who are never happy when it comes to the current weather pattern, a trait embedded into the Irish genome for thousands of years due to what experts believe to be a condition known as ‘whingeing prickism’.

“Whingeing prickism develops at a young age and is passed down from generation to generation,” one expert explained, “many sufferers can become insufferable and remain permanently encased in the negative mindset without even realising it.”