Everything We Know About Latest Trump Assassination That We’re Not Fact Checking Because This Is All About Ratings & Clicks Baby!

IN THE AFTERMATH of a major piece of news breaking it’s important for an esteemed media outlet such as WWN not to lose sight of its journalistic principles; chief among them being to get as many eyeballs on our content in order to maximise our revenue, consequences be damned baby, there’s money to be made!

As the old dictum goes ‘first for clicks, last for important corrections on baseless claims we pushed’.

Here’s what we know about alleged Donald Trump would-be assassin no.2 Kamala Harris:

Fact one we haven’t fact checked: His name is actually Ryan Wesley Routh.

Fact two we haven’t fact checked: Google is now asking ‘which one?’ when you type in ‘Trump assassination attempt’.

Fact three we haven’t fact checked: He was second in command to Volodomyr Zelensky or something like that.

Fact four we haven’t fact checked: Bernie Sanders-voting, in receipt of transgender hormone treatment, Commie.

Fact five we haven’t fact checked: Sorry wait, voted for Trump in 2016.

Fact six we haven’t fact checked: Is there any way to link this to the Haitian community of Springfield, Ohio?

Fact seven we haven’t fact checked: Trump posted ‘I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT’ earlier in the day on his Truth Social account, thus helping the FBI to narrow to initial list of suspects to 1 billion music fans before arresting Routh.

Fact eight we haven’t fact checked: Social media accounts for Routh also show he was anti-China, pro-North Korea, pro-Ukraine, pro-Iran and into Covid conspiracy theories which makes Hunter Biden paying him to do this so obvious when you think about it.

Fact nine we haven’t fact checked: “Shootings are a fact of life” is a quote from JD Vance in response to children being killed in school shootings so it is not thought Republicans will make much of a big deal of this latest incident.