“Sorry I Missed Your Call – Phone Was On Silent” Insists Lying Prick

CURSING his friend for calling him during a TikTok binge while lying on the couch, Mark Stinson watched on as the little phone ringing notification icon persisted in the corner of his iPhone for the full duration of possible rings, wondering what could be so important at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon.

“If I don’t answer after the first three rings, I’m obviously busy,” Stinson tried to telepathically tell his friend, opting now not to answer out of spite as he watched another slow cooker recipe video. “At least text me first to let me know your ringing. I hate persistent callers”.

Stinson is reportedly one of billions of people who suffer from sudden phone ringing anxiety (SPRA) which forces sufferers into a panic if someone they know rings them unexpectedly, forcing them to lie.

“Hey Davey, sorry I missed your call there my phone was on silent,” Stinson sent a text back some hours later instead of calling, still not ready for a full-blown conversation and lying through his fucking fingertips hoping the message gets a message reply and not another phone call.

“It’s okay Mark, I was just checking to see if you were heading out tonight for Jamie’s birthday bash,” his friend replied, thankfully in text form as it gave him time to process a suitable reply.

“Aw no! I’ve already made plans with herself. Damn totally forgot, if only I had been able to answer earlier, I would have gone and all. Typical. I must remember to take my phone off work mode on weekends. Sickened,” Stinson sent, delighted he didn’t answer the call earlier as he’d be now stuck in Katty Macs listening to some bullshit conversation about football and drinking himself into oblivion in order to muster the fuel to verbally engage with the lads.

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