P-Diddy Court Appearance Delayed After Entire Court Has Something Slipped In Their Drinks

WHAT WAS a seemingly kind gesture representing an olive branch from Puff Daddy/P Diddy/Sean Combs/Guilty As Sin to the New York court he was making his first pre-trial appearance in has taken an unfortunate turn.

Mere minutes after offering the judge in his trial a glass of water after they coughed from a dry throat and handing out free drinks to everyone else in attendance, Combs’ trial was thrown into disarray as he remained the only conscious person in the court room.

“Mr. Combs you’re accused of silencing victims through blackmail and violent acts including kidnapping, arson and physical beatings,” said Judge Arun Subramanian moments before becoming sleepy.

“Okay, that one’s on me, should’ve seen that coming” confirmed head of security at the Manhattan courthouse.

This is just the latest incredible turn of events in the downfall of Combs, whose arrest has resulted in 400,000 litres of sweat being produced by famous people who attended his notorious parties and are now just waiting for a knock on their door.

Elsewhere, after a guest on Piers Morgan’s show, Jaguar Wright, made a number of libelous claims about Jay Z and Beyonce, Morgan was forced to issue an apology. “Sorry for my existence” the statement from Morgan should have read.