Category: BUSINESS

Banks Being Suspiciously Nice All Of A Sudden

AN independent think-tank has declared that the banking sector has been ‘a little too smiley’ during the Coronavirus crisis for anyone’s liking, prompting fears that they’re on the brink of profiting from human misery for the first time ever. Most banks and mortgage lenders were quick to offer 3-month ‘mortgage holidays’ to struggling families after… Read more »

Dealers Now Offering ‘Dial-A-Line’ Service

COKE-strapped punters in the south east are today hailing a local dealer’s new dial-a-line delivery as ‘a groundbreaking service to the community’ and ‘a welcome addition to the house party scene’. “I’ve been having the lads around to the house for a few cans every weekend since lockdown started, and we’ve noticed that the one… Read more »

Local Man Hooked Up To Drip Containing Liquidised Supermacs Meal

HEALTH officials have warned Supermacs fans to seek professional help if they’re opting to intravenously inject meals directly into their bloodstream after one Waterford man performed the procedure at home, WWN can confirm. Mere seconds after his chicken sandwich meal was delivered, city centre resident Michael Walsh blended the contents of his favourite meal deal… Read more »