THE hugely popular [Restaurant Name Here] in [Location Here] has sadly announced its closure today after [Years In Business Here], WWN has learned. Owner [Proprietor Name Here] cited the increase in energy bills and produce costs along with government inaction as to the reason for the closure and thanked all their customers who supported them… Read more »

THERE go the Lilt men. Lilt! Lilt, it had a totally tropical taste; pineapple and grapefruit and has now been discontinued after 48-years leaving dozens of Caribbean drivers across the world redundant. “Wagwan?” asked one former Lilt man at a protest over redundancy packages outside Leinster House today, where Lilt trucks brought traffic to a… Read more »

BP has explained to the hard of thinking that their record-setting €26bn profits for last year has nothing to do with any sort of price gouging or war profiteering, and that any business could just double its fortunes in a year if they work hard and say their prayers. “You hear stories that people are… Read more »

WATERFORD man Derek McCoran has found himself in a situation like so many other people where he has enough money to be expected to pay his debts, but doesn’t owe enough money to argue that he should be allowed not to. The 34-year old is currently struggling to pay his monthly rent which has rolled… Read more »

THE announcement of more job losses at PayPal and Google has resulted in many tech workers realising that their parents were right all along, that ‘computers’ wasn’t a ‘real job’ and that they should have taken up a trade like their cousin. “You know for a minute there, I really believed that I could make… Read more »

THE announcement that ESB customers are to receive a once-off payment of €50 per household as compensation for a decade of overcharging has been likened to the actions of a careless sexual partner that takes as much enjoyment for themselves out of intercourse while doing as little as possible to benefit anyone else. “In the… Read more »

A COURT has heard that it was a ‘crime of passion’ which led to one American man to a moment of madness after discovering his wife having an inter-species threesome with a pair of M&Ms, WWN reports. Named only as ‘Scott’, the defendant told the court that he came home from work early when he… Read more »

FEARS are growing that the sheer number of global lay-offs in the coming year could exceed the number of available brown cardboard boxes to empty your desk into, which may lead to scenes of newly-unemployed people carrying all their crap out into the streets in their hands. With companies such as Meta, Twitter, Google and… Read more »