AN independent think-tank has declared that the banking sector has been ‘a little too smiley’ during the Coronavirus crisis for anyone’s liking, prompting fears that they’re on the brink of profiting from human misery for the first time ever. Most banks and mortgage lenders were quick to offer 3-month ‘mortgage holidays’ to struggling families after… Read more »
COKE-strapped punters in the south east are today hailing a local dealer’s new dial-a-line delivery as ‘a groundbreaking service to the community’ and ‘a welcome addition to the house party scene’. “I’ve been having the lads around to the house for a few cans every weekend since lockdown started, and we’ve noticed that the one… Read more »
RENAMING his staff’s gratuity payments for their dedicated service over the past year as his ‘rainy day fund’, restaurant owner Mike Davis admitted he was now glad that he held on to all those tips which have been fuelling his lockdown expenses for the past 5 weeks. “It must have been a subconscious decision where… Read more »
THIS just in: A number of extra fees and charges are to be implemented by publicans when the restrictions surrounding Covid-19 are lifted, according to a report we’ve just written and published on the internet. These measures are aimed at making up lost revenue, probably, and include: A flat entry fee, not unlike that into… Read more »
SPECULATION as to whether local publicans have been having sneaky pints without so much as an invite to loyal customers has not yet been confirmed despite several sightings of proprietors entering and leaving the building. The pubs, which were forced to close due to a nationwide lockdown to curb the Coronavirus, have been teasing local… Read more »
HEALTH officials have warned Supermacs fans to seek professional help if they’re opting to intravenously inject meals directly into their bloodstream after one Waterford man performed the procedure at home, WWN can confirm. Mere seconds after his chicken sandwich meal was delivered, city centre resident Michael Walsh blended the contents of his favourite meal deal… Read more »
GARDAÍ liaising with interpol agents are currently investigating a multi-million euro scam involving thousands of unsuspecting families who were duped by a company pretending to be an EU law abiding commercial airline going by the name of Ryanair, WWN has learned. In the apparent con, customers were lured into paying for flights to certain European… Read more »
WATERFORD woman Meredith Harkin has broken down and admitted that the thing she’s missing the most from her normal pre-Covid-19 daily life is the one thing she thought she hated the most; her despised co-worker, Sheila Whelan. HR manager Harkin, 32, sobbed openly as she attempted to discuss ‘that fucking dose Whelan’ in her Waterford… Read more »
A WATERFORD man currently working from home due to Covid-19 restrictions has expressed disbelief at the fact that his wife is devoting huge amounts of time to her own workload, instead of keeping the kids busy and the lunches coming. Marketing strategist Adam O’Driscoll was amazed to find that his wife Sheila, who he describes… Read more »
