Category: BUSINESS

Government Would Wheel Your Granny Off A Cliff If Big Tech Company Asked, Finds Report

THE GOVERNMENT would absolutely turf your grandmother over the cliffs of Moher or any other headland with gleeful abandon while shouting ‘weeeeee’ if so directed by any big multinational operating in Ireland, according to latest reporting on the issue. “If the meek deference shown in public and private by state bodies and members of the… Read more »

Zuckerberg Retreats To Metaverse Amid $230bn Stock Plunge

SENIOR executives at Facebook parent company Meta have expressed their worry after struggling to contact and track down CEO Mark Zuckerberg after Meta lost $230bn in value yesterday. “Mark! Mark! Are you in here?” one exasperated Meta executive screamed in full VR head gear, believing a rudderless Zuckerberg has retreated, indefinitely, to the Metaverse as… Read more »

Lynx & Prozac Team Up To Release New Antidepressant Deodorant

WITH the ever-increasing diagnosis of young men with anxiety and depression, two of the world’s leading brands have got together to launch the world’s first antidepressant deodorant called, Lynx Happy. “Many male patients regularly forget to take their daily medication, but most young men never forget to spray lashings of chemicals onto the most absorbent… Read more »

Brennans Release New Extra Long Slice Pan

IN A BID to satisfy the needs of the average Irish family the makers of Brennans bread have teamed up with leading bread technologists to produce an extra long edition of the staple slice pan. Coming in at aproximetly 500 slices, the extra long slice pan should cover all the bread needs of families for… Read more »