THE GOVERNMENT would absolutely turf your grandmother over the cliffs of Moher or any other headland with gleeful abandon while shouting ‘weeeeee’ if so directed by any big multinational operating in Ireland, according to latest reporting on the issue. “If the meek deference shown in public and private by state bodies and members of the… Read more »
SPEAKING at the launch of his new energy drink pillar of the boxing world and mental health enthusiast Tyson Fury revealed he will never endorse gambling, alcohol, or drugs brands, excluding his close pal and cartel boss Daniel Kinahan. “I won’t take money from drink, gambling or CBD drug brands as they cause mental health… Read more »
SENIOR executives at Facebook parent company Meta have expressed their worry after struggling to contact and track down CEO Mark Zuckerberg after Meta lost $230bn in value yesterday. “Mark! Mark! Are you in here?” one exasperated Meta executive screamed in full VR head gear, believing a rudderless Zuckerberg has retreated, indefinitely, to the Metaverse as… Read more »
CONDOLENSES have flooded in from around the country after the untimely death of HSE CEO Paul Reid who was crushed in a workplace accident earlier today, WWN has learned. It is understood Mr Reid was collecting his annual pay packet today but underestimated exactly how much money was in it before struggling to take home… Read more »
TECH giant Google has secured planning permission for a 1,700-capacity campus in Dublin’s Grand Canal Dock where workers can finally achieve their childhood dreams of eating, sleeping, living and working in the workplace. Touted as having all the benefits of working from home but without any of the pesky hassle of having to separate the… Read more »
AS WORKERS continue to return to the office on a phased basis, some employees remain resistant to a return citing a variety of factors including improved productivity, increased job satisfaction, the lack of a commute, getting to wear pyjamas all the time and getting to do their work time shits in their own toilet. However,… Read more »
IN A BID to help returning office workers adjust to the fact that the world only exists to chip away at their resolve and happiness, Dublin City Council has confirm that the majority of on street parking is to rise by 10%. “Two hours stuck in traffic and now I’ll be paying through the nose,… Read more »
WITH the ever-increasing diagnosis of young men with anxiety and depression, two of the world’s leading brands have got together to launch the world’s first antidepressant deodorant called, Lynx Happy. “Many male patients regularly forget to take their daily medication, but most young men never forget to spray lashings of chemicals onto the most absorbent… Read more »
DESPITE being hit with a wave of anxiety every time he realises retail assistant Orna Collins will be the one to scan through his grocery items, local man Denis Pearson admits he will miss the unbearably chatty woman when the supermarket adds a few more self-service tills and finally dispenses with her. “I only go… Read more »
IN A BID to satisfy the needs of the average Irish family the makers of Brennans bread have teamed up with leading bread technologists to produce an extra long edition of the staple slice pan. Coming in at aproximetly 500 slices, the extra long slice pan should cover all the bread needs of families for… Read more »
