THE WORLD’S billionaires have denied their sudden departure on a NASA shuttle bound for Mars has anything to do with the unrelenting spread of the deadly Covid-19 virus and that people left behind on Earth have ‘absolutely nothing to worry about’. “Oh, sorry, did we forget to tell you about the disease-free biosphere we built… Read more »
SO SHOCKED was one local coffee consumer at the news that coffee farms used by Nespresso were found to be using child labour, it completely interrupted her morning skinny latte purchase for a brief, barely perceptible moment. Left to contemplate how rampant the practice of putting children to work in the intensive coffee farming industry… Read more »
HAD enough of renting? Sick of living with Mum & Dad? Ready to move on with that special someone, or just looking to go it alone? Well, you’re about to get a look at the big, bad world of mortgage applications, where bank after bank offer you the sun, moon and the stars as long… Read more »
A SENIOR EU official overseeing digital policy has warned tech giants such as Twitter, Facebook or the Facebook owned Instagram and WhatsApp could face fines if they fail to reverse their platforms’ slide towards cavernous cesspools of knuckle dragging hate and bile, WWN can reveal. With curbing disinformation and hate speech at the top of… Read more »
THE OVERABUNDANCE of ugly single people has been given as the reason for Facebook’s delayed launch of the ‘Facebook Dating’ feature across Ireland and Europe. Scheduled to launch the day before Valentine’s Day this year, the dating feature was the tech giant’s answer to popular apps like Grindr and Tinder, however, Facebook confirmed the postponement… Read more »
A CONSORTIUM of Irish criminals, crooks, villains, ruffians, roustabouts and ne’er-do-wells have issued a statement expressing their concerns about the recent rise in crime from better run, more effective foreign gangs. The joint statement comes following Gardaí investigations into a Lithuanian crime syndicate who have been operating a multi-million Euro bicycle theft ring in major… Read more »
AFTER spending much of the week pretending to give a shit about what Greta Thunberg had to say about the environment, emotional billionaires in attendance at Davos turned their focus to honouring friend, fixer and epic orgy organiser Jeffrey Epstein as the annual knees up drew to a close. “Now that the laughable charade of… Read more »
CHUCKLING with the sort of sociopathic remove required to be a member of the ruling family of a country that murders journalists and commits war crimes in Yemen, Mohammed bin Salman has sought to clear up accusations that Saudi Arabia orchestrated the hacking of Amazon billionaire and Washington Post owner Jeff Bezos’s phone. “Oh you… Read more »
A COMPANY new to the Irish market is offering a service, which involves sending a doppleganger home in your place for the Christmas to endure your complex family dynamics for you, has been forced to hire 100 more staff to cope with increased interest from the public. “We’re out the door at the minute,” shared… Read more »
