AERTEL users are considering getting their local GAA scores and television times from an alternative source if the proposed sale of the platform to controversial Waterford compo tycoon Alan Rust goes through as planned this weekend. Rust, who made his fortune with years of slip-n-fall claims around the country, has offered RTÉ approximately €147,000 for… Read more »
SPEAKING exclusively to WWN Tech, Twitter’s chief arsonist Elon Musk has confessed his performance during his first two weeks on the job has exceeded his wildest expectations. “I can’t believe you guys doubted me. Me, the exploding batteries in cars guy. Me, the ‘hey I’ll give you a horse to give me a happy ending’… Read more »
‘WELL, well, well!’ stated Facebook boss Mark Zuckerberg today, as Twitter refugees arrived back to his social media platform by the thousand amid chaos over on Elon Musk’s flailing app. “Would you look who it is, the same people who said Facebook was ‘too boring’, ‘too full of Minions memes’, ‘too much of a platform… Read more »
GOING some way to explaining the idiotic tweaks performed on Twitter which have been riven with chaos since his takeover of the social media company, Elon Musk is sticking by one of his big hires and promoting them. “Neuralink monkey is the future,” explained Musk, revealing for the first time to much relief from his… Read more »
A NUMBER OF high profile multi-national tech companies with job cuts and ignoring employment laws on their minds have received some good news from the Taoiseach Micheál Martin, WWN can reveal. “I got here as fast as I could,” explained Taoiseach Micheál Martin, now banging on the front door of a tech firm in Dublin… Read more »
BIRDS across Ireland have been advised of the latest lockdown measures introduced in a bid to flatten the bird flu curve with the following guidelines as stipulated by the National Aviary Health Emergency Team (NAHET). Delivering the new measures, head of NAHET Dustin the Turkey revealed the following measures: Social distancing of 2 millimetres is… Read more »
RUMOURS persist that Meta, the parent company of Facebook, are set to announce largescale layoffs but now WWN sources can confirm Mark Zuckerberg is insisting on delivering the news via group meeting in his virtual reality metaverse. “Mark I reaaally don’t think staff will like this,” said one PR exec, pleading with Zuckerberg to announce… Read more »
POLICY experts and government advisers have confirmed once again that the vast bulk of the Nation’s corporation tax revenue coming from a handful of companies is merely a sign of an incredibly secure, vibrant and in no way overexposed economy, WWN can reveal. Latest exchequer figures show the State is on course for a record… Read more »
OIL cartels across the planet have today officially thanked Russian President Vladimir Putin for his ongoing conflict in the Ukraine, giving Big Oil all the reasoning it needs to curb supplies and keep prices high. Posting its second-highest quarterly profit on record, BP is now delivering a windfall for its investors while the rest of… Read more »
