Category: BUSINESS

‘Wind Energy Causes Erectile Dysfunction’ & 5 More Things We Learned From Our Meeting With Gas & Oil Chiefs

PEOPLE who think that wind farms are the solution to our energy needs haven’t considered their potentially lethal side effects, according to a new report released by some of the world’s gas and oil giants. During a press conference we attended, we heard that anyone arguing for renewable energy sources should consider the following: 1)… Read more »

“Reels, Reels, Reels… ” Manic Zuckerberg Repeatedly Screams At Staff During 7-Hour Briefing

EXHAUSTED Meta staff recovering from a 7-hour briefing primarily made up of founder Mark Zuckerberg screaming the word ‘reels’ over and over again at them are said to be concerned for their futures as the 38-year-old becomes more and more unhinged over the fact young people are flocking to rival platforms. “Fair enough, Facebook started… Read more »

Sweet! Now Give Us Our Bailout Money Back, AIB Told

THE nation has been described as ‘flabbergasted’ after their public outcry over AIB’s decision to go cashless actually caused the bank to reverse their stance, prompting the question; what else could we get if we kicked off? 1) How about that bailout? All told, Ireland bailed out the banks (including AIB) to the tune of… Read more »

Carpenter Refuses To Work With Wood Anymore, And More Of This Week’s AIB-Style Decisions

BUSINESSES and tradespeople across the country are reassessing the services they provide in the wake of AIB’s decision to implement a cashless policy in their branches, with many stating that they ‘didn’t realise’ that they could stop doing the one thing people needed from them and yet somehow still remain in business. Settling off a… Read more »