ESB Lad Cleaning Up On Cash Payments For Connecting Homes

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LOCAL ESB employee Jimmy Tobin is making an absolute killing on cash payments made by builders looking to hook up new homes with electricity in a timely manner.

“It usually takes weeks to get a place connected but if ya put cash into my hand I’ll be out after work no problem,” Tobin explained, wondering now what to spend the cold hard cash on, “sure there’s loads of us at this craic for years – it’s the Irish way of getting things done”.

It is estimated Tobin charges anywhere between 5 to 10 thousand euros for the practice, which is highly illegal but has been never properly investigated by the ESB or Gardaí, apart from one recent case in High Court.

“The contracted Uisce Éireann lads are at it too, might as well make hay while the sun shines, as the fella says, wha’?” Tobin added, not a fucking bother on him at’all at’all, “I made nearly 40k hooking up a development last week, at this rate I’ll be able to afford to build my own housing estate in a few years and then rent it back to the council for an absolute fortune – ya gotta love this country, boy!”

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