Tayto Release Noiseless Crisp Range For Watching TV

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NOT BEING able to hear the television from the sound of your own munching is probably the most frustrating thing known to mankind, which is why scientists have been developing a noiseless crisp that still feels and tastes the same as the original, but without the annoying crunch.

“This three-billion-euro project is going to revolutionise the way the world watches television and cinema,” lead scientist Professor Paddy Kennedy told WWN at Tayto Labs today, demonstrating the new noiseless crisp in a room set up like a typical sitting room with two test subjects watching TV.

“As you can see here both subject A and subject B are watching TV while eating Tayto’s original packets,” he narrated the staged scene as both subjects looked visibly annoyed at their own crunching, “now we see the results with the new chip,” he continued, as the emotional pair looked overwhelmed at the lack of munch.

“This changes everything,” subject A told the room, now visibly weeping at the breakthrough, “to think I was going to leave my wife over this issue and now it has been solved, thank you science, I’ll just need to find another excuse now to leave her!”

Tayto confirmed that although the crunching noise will now be obsolete in public areas like cinemas, it will not curtail the number of pricks still talking through movies.

The new noiseless crisp is due to be released in 2024 under the name Tayto Stealth.

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