Waterford Man Wins ‘Worst Dressed’ At Punchestown Festival

WATERFORD fashion disasteristas are hailing the efforts of one of their own today after city native Noel Slattin received the coveted title of Worst Dressed at the annual Punchestown racing festival.

Pairing stain riddled jeans, with a hoodie and a shirt so crumpled and concealed it looks like it was last ironed when the Punt was still in circulation, it was Slattin’s decision to pair it all with scuffed square-toed brown shoes that secured him the title with the voting judges.

“Usually we award the crown to a man who looks like his mam tried to stuff him back into his communion suit, if he bought his communion suit off a blind child working to a tight deadline in a sweat shop but there’s a certain je Ne sais quoi about Noel here,” remarked one judge as he handed Slattin his novelty cheque for a chicken fillet roll with a side of all-you-can-eat coleslaw.

“It takes as much time and effort to dress this poorly as it does to dress well, people don’t realise that, the ignorance is something else,” beamed Slattin, as he was raised up over his shoulders by a gaggle of bootcut jeans and brown shoe wearing supporters.

“Years of preparation and hard work went into this. Do you know how much energy it takes over the course of a life to never retain any information in relation to sleeve length, collar size, colour clashing and all that stuff, this belly gut doesn’t dangle over my belt like like a frozen waterfall over a cliff by accident. Attention to detail boi, that’s what it’s all about!”

The moment was bittersweet for Slattin, who couldn’t celebrate it alongside the man who taught him how not to dress, his father, due to the fact Slattin Sr was doing his once in a decade shop for new socks and jocks.

“When Mr Slattin told me didn’t get dressed with the lights off, that impressed me, it’s rare to see such an inability to pick out something half decent to wear. It’s vomit for the eyeballs, bravo” said one judge of the contest.