Local Man Asks Pakistani Taxi Driver To Explain History Of Middle East Tensions During 5 Minute Trip Into Town


AN EXTREMELY intoxicated Dublin man who, hitherto, had shown no interest in learning any details of various historical Middle Eastern and South Asian conflicts, has tasked his taxi driver for the evening with explaining it all in the time it takes to get from Phibsborough to Capel St.

“Afghanistan? I’d say it was mental, not right Biden pulling out of your gaff,” offered Sean Glannon, in response to Pakistani taxi driver Sami Awan saying he was born in Islamabad.

“I’m looking for like the two-minute TikTok explainer, what’s going down at all at all and why? The Gaza stuff, shoot, sound off, enlighten me,” urged Glannon, whose consumption of six cans plus no dinner combined to form the basis for a singular and fleeting interest in Middle East conflicts.

“That’s mad, that’s mad,” Glannon responded multiple times while his head was buried in his phone, prompting Awan’s polite explanations to include several instances of completely made up conflicts and flashpoints such as ‘the Kebab Civil War’.

Astonished and a little impressed by his own interest and wonderment, Glannon conceded privately that the Irish schooling system was to blame for not teaching him something that has been easily accessible on Wikipedia and other sources for over a decade.

“Who is it your lads don’t like? Ha, no way, I thought you lads were basically the same? Ah the Brits split you in two, fucking preaching to the converted here man, say no more. Here, listen, I hope that all gets sorted anyway, sound,” Glannon said as he departed the taxi, before leaving Awan as 3 star Free Now rating on account of talking too much.