Small Family Business Hands Over First Born To Revenue


“BYE Saoirse, mammy and daddy loves you; just go with the nice bailiffs now, good girl,” restaurant owners Kate and Darren Conaty kissed their wailing first born goodbye in lieu of an outstanding revenue balance.

Hit with a multitude of hurdles over the past three years, The Black Kettle Cafe managed to keep itself afloat with many sacrifices, the latest being admittedly the hardest.

“I suppose Revenue has to live too,” Kate reasoned, as bailiffs promised to be back for their second child, Tanya, if the remaining balance isn’t paid in 30 days, “when you think about it, they only get a quarter of everything you make as a business; if you generate 100k a year, they want 23k of that, if you want to pay yourself a salary out of that 100k, they will also want a quarter of that salary too – double whammy – and if you somehow manage to make a profit in between, they’ll want 12.5%. It all seems fair to me”.

However, it wasn’t all bad news in the world of business, as husband Darren points out the latest business news.

“Ah, that’s great, Shell just posted a $6bn profit last quarter,” the optimistic restaurateur offered, as outstanding energy bills into the tens of thousands of euros lay outstanding on the office whiteboard behind him, “see? there is light at the end of the tunnel”.