“So This Is What Ireland Under Sinn Féin Would Be Like” Says Taoiseach After Setting Foot In North Korea

VISIBLY shaking after what he called a ‘surreal’ experience, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar confirmed it was ‘like stepping foot in an Ireland run by Sinn Féin’ when he stood in North Korea at the DMZ during a trade mission to South Korea.

“Look, my hands they’re shaking, and my wallet, yup, look at my wallet – empty. Despite only standing in North Korea a brief moment, I was taxed at 80%, my house was seized, and I was only able to utter ‘situation’ in an over-the-top Derry accent,” Varadkar said, issuing a terrifying warning to Irish voters.

From his position in the DMZ Varadkar felt he was looking out on a warning from the future as on the horizon he could see a country with no functioning health service, poor living prospects for young people and a dysfunctional transport system with no public metro.

“I couldn’t be sure, but I think I saw a 50ft tall statue of Gerry Adams in the distance too, they were eating tricolours because they had no food,” added a pale and lightheaded Varadkar, now being ushering to a seat by his handlers and handed a glass of water.

“Voting for Sinn Féin would be like being your man in Oldboy and no one wants that, only sickos like Sinn Féin, want that. That film is as mad as Sinn Féin’s economic policy”.

Meanwhile, when asked to respond to news that a report stated Ireland’s inequality is growing amid nearly 200,000 living in severely deprived areas the Taoiseach stated “see, I told you our policies were working”.