Week To Be Expanded To 8 Days To Allow Everyone Catch Up On All The TV Shows


IN AN EFFORT to help people catch up with the ever expanding slate of binge-worthy TV shows they are being pressured into watching by friends, family, coworkers and the post man, the week has been expanded to allow for an 8th day.

“Don’t consider this an additional day to do fun things or for taking a city break, this 8th day is solely so you can watch that new series you never seem to have the time to start,” confirmed the government department responsible for carving out the new day.

To avoid people taking advantage of the extra day all businesses, parks and borders will be closed to ensure a maximum amount of TV is watched, while local towns will be patrolled by armed police charged with motioning people back into their homes.

“You always said you didn’t have the time, well here it is. Watch Peaky Blinders, Ozark or whatever people have been plaguing you to watch,” confirmed a government official.

The news will come as a relief to thousands of people whose life is largely made up of being intensely talked ‘at’ by that one friend who can’t believe you haven’t watched the Belgian adaptation of HBO’s Euphoria which is called Seks En Drugs Met Studenten.

“It’s so good. How do you watch it? Oh just download a VPN on your Dangle Dongle, then sign up to Waffle, it’s a Belgian streaming thing but not Wafflez, that’s a different one but you can only watch between 2pm and 4pm, it’s some weird public broadcasting law in Belgium. Oh I think it’s available on the Supermacs streaming service in Ireland as well,” confirmed a friend who you sincerely believe could turn violent if you don’t watch their favourite shows.

“This is amazing I can finally watch Celebrity Autopsy, Married At First Knife Fight and Judging Poor People, it’s only 237 episodes,” said one overworked woman who made a mental note back in 2017 to watch that show people in work were mentioning.