Niall Boylan Consoles Himself With Phone-In About Transgender Single Mother Migrants


CONTENDING with the heartache of narrowly missing out on a €124,000 salary, radio phone-in host and now failed MEP candidate Niall Boylan eased the pain the only way he knew how; by throwing open the phone lines to gauge the public’s reaction to one caller’s contention that every council house in the capital is now occupied by a transgender single mother migrant.

“I don’t want to talk about the fact I won’t get that MEP salary, or the €4,950 general expenditure allowance per month, a daily allowance of €350 for accommodation and meals, free travel to and from Brussels, medical expenses and a car service, it wasn’t about all that,” explained Boylan, as the switchboard lit up with people who sounded suspiciously like radio station staff ringing in to back up the transgender single mother migrant with nuclear bomb capabilities story.

A hotly contested race saw Boylan lose out to Labour’s Aodhán Ó Ríordáin. Another hotly contested race by radio phone-in callers is brown people from the Middle East.

“They’re not compatible with our values, I think you know what I’m getting at,” offered one caller, whose values include ringing in to other phone-ins to complain about clerical abuse victims ‘dragging up the past’.

“You think that’s bad Niall, my neighbour has built a Hamas tunnel in his back garden, not a word of a lie. And what’s in the tunnel? You guessed it – a 5G vaccine microchip factory, and we’re the ones paying for it all with our tax,” said one man, with the free time to ring into a radio phone-in during working hours.

Elsewhere, Fine Gael’s Maria Walsh is on course to be reelected in Midland North West and another five years of disappearing completely.