Category: POLITICS

“We’re Not Called The TaliBAN For Nothing Lolz” Taliban Defends Banning Women From Parks

“GUYS IT’S literally in the name,” explained a spokesman for the Taliban defending their decision to ban women from parks and funfairs in Kabul, which hasn’t drawn much condemnation because countries are busy with their own problems. The Taliban’s slow suffocation of women’s freedoms has been met with condemnation from a number of western nations… Read more »

Republicans Shocked Running Deranged Women Hating Candidates Not A Big Vote Getter

SENIOR US Republicans are scratching their heads after the party failed to match pre-election predictions of huge gains. “Slogans such as ‘we’ll make you carry your rapist’s baby even if you’re 13’ just didn’t connect with folks as we’d hoped, Dr Oz saying women need a politician’s permission for an abortion was our most liberal… Read more »

Man Felt Nothing Watching John Lewis Ad, Nothing

THE latest John Lewis Christmas advert has been met with tears, smiles and universal acclaim from everyone except Waterford man Owen Carroll who didn’t feel a flicker of emotion throughout. The commercial, which features a middle-aged man learning how to skateboard so that he can have something in common with the vulnerable child he and… Read more »

Irish Government Diagnosed With World’s First Case Of Socialhousingaphobia

HERALDED at a world’s first and a stunning breakthrough in the fields of psychiatry and neurobiology the Irish government has been diagnosed with a debilitating and terrifying phobia of building social housing, dubbed ‘socialhousingaphobia’. The announcement comes shortly after the government is set to miss yet another housing target, this time failing to €2bn behind… Read more »

No Evidence That Relying On Handful Of Multi-Nationals For Majority Of Tax Intake Could Back Fire In Anyway

POLICY experts and government advisers have confirmed once again that the vast bulk of the Nation’s corporation tax revenue coming from a handful of companies is merely a sign of an incredibly secure, vibrant and in no way overexposed economy, WWN can reveal. Latest exchequer figures show the State is on course for a record… Read more »

People Who Lost Their Minds Over ‘Up The RA’ Song Awful Quiet On Planned Loyalist Terror Attack

SKY SPORTS presenters were unavailable for comment today as the island of Ireland came to terms with the news that the UVF and UDA had been planing a terrorist attack in Ireland, potentially targeting Irish government ministers. “I’ve no comment until such a time you can provide me with video evidence these Loyalists were doing… Read more »