Government To Recognise Data Centres As Religious Orders, Exempt From Tax And Criticism

THE FORMAL and deferential esteem in which religious orders of the past have been held in by the Irish state is set to be afforded to data centres in a landmark behind-closed-doors ruling, according to leaked internal government documents seen by WWN with its news-gathering eyeballs.

“Being afforded ‘church’ status by the government will effectively pave the way for the data centres to accumulate grave misdeeds and illegal acts over several decades without any action being taken,” explained one Ireland expert.

The expert wouldn’t be drawn on comments that several government TDs are known to worship multi-nationals like Gods, regularly sacrificing animals on an altar made of corporation tax receipts.

“So basically anyone thinking about filing a noise complaint, asking for a poisoned water supply next to a data centre to be looked into, or expressing confusion as to why their house no electricity should think again,” added the expert.

Despite no formal announcement of the recognition, the chilling affect of being awarded Irish religious order status is already present on the streets of Ireland.

“Whist now, we won’t be speaking about data centres, leave well alone, and if there’s a bad word to be said about them, it won’t be coming from your mouth, alright? You don’t go against them, how many times have I told, you just keep the head down and hope they don’t take a liking to you,” shared one worried parent with their child.

The news comes on foot of a recent jobs announcement by Open AI, where at the official launch, Taoiseach Micheál Martin gave the company a voucher entitling them to the eternal, morally bankrupt support of the Irish government.