Fiscal Watchdog Warns Government Budgeting Like Drunk Student Buying Round Of Shots For Everyone With Last €50

THE Irish Fiscal Advisory Council has released its now daily warning that the government is willfully ignoring all warnings and input from financial experts as the cabinet finalises the year’s budget.

Yearly budget overruns are ‘near identical’ to the spending habits and decision making of a broke student who thinks everyone will like them if they’re always buying rounds.

“This is the equivalent of a broke student offering to buy everyone shots with their last €50. Is everyone happy with a free shot? Sure. Will it lift everyone’s mood? Possibly. Did the student neglect to tell their everyone that he got the €50 from their own accounts? Most definitely,” a source within the IFAC told WWN.

“The student in this case is so drunk, that often times they are tricked by bar men into thinking one beer costs €500,000. And the level of naive drunkeness leads the same student to repeatedly make this same mistake time and time again,” they added.

“So liver-shredded, so stupefyingly stocious, skunk-drunk and mangled they think the only way to solve the housing issue is to give money to private landlords and choosing every possible spending option like they are trying to drive inflationary effects in all sectors of the economy,” concluded the source, sort of abandoning their metaphor altogether to call Minister for Finance Simon Harris as financially literate as a house fly.

Meanwhile, fresh research shows that the average Irish person shows little interest in understanding that budget giveaways are never free. “Money, money, free money, yay!” the public said in response, rubbishing the claims made in the research.