Canada Place 50% Tariff On US Imports Of Canadian Movie Stars

DONALD TRUMP’S decision to impose fresh tariffs on Canada in the wake of a collapse in trade talks has now seen Canada respond in kind with punishing, industry-threatening tariffs of their own, WWN can reveal.

“Good luck maintaining an entertainment industry now,” Canadian PM Mark Carney said as he slapped the US with a 50% tariff on all imports of Canadian actors you thought were actually American.

Such a move puts a 50% tariff on household names such as Rachel McAdams and Ryan Reynolds, but will also include dozens of future A-list actors birthed in special incubators in a secretive entertainment laboratory in Ottawa.

“Oh Christ above, this will create a shortage of affable and effortless leading men and women who hit all 4 key audience demographics, we’ll be ruined!” a panicked Hollywood studio exec said, as they faced trying to cast a movie without Ryan Gosling.

Canada are said to be considering extending the tariffs to the music industry, imposing import tariffs on The Weekend, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Joni Mitchell, Neil Young and Justin Bieber. And in an unthinkable escalation which could do irreversible damage to relations between the two nations, Canada is considering pretending Drake is American.

“I can forgive Trump for his rampant fraud and corruption, his antics with paedophiles like Jeffrey Epstein but now he’s putting me at risk of not being able to see Keanu Reeves in another John Wick sequel, this can’t stand,” said one long-time supporter of Trump, who appears to be turning on the US leader.