“Kylian Works One Year In Uyghur Camp & This All Goes Away” China Tells Real Madrid
CHINESE authorities believe they have offered ‘acceptable terms’ to bring an end to diplomatic tension that has arisen ever since football star Kylian Mbappé used a word to accurately describe the founder of modern China, dictator Mao Zedong.
“Mbappé can move fast, he will be a good worker. This is an acceptable punishment for his ignorance and the grave offence caused,” confirmed Chinese authorities in direct correspondence with Real Madrid outlining where they can take the French forward to start his year’s labour in a Uyghur prison camp.
Giving a response to a question about what his favourite meme of himself was, Mbappé cited one which depicted him as ‘the Chinese dictator’, referring to Mao. This reference to the famous dictator resulted in products with Mbappé’s image being removed from shelves in China and Real Madrid’s games being pulled from TV stations.
“While it will be sad to be without Kylian for a year, these things happen, players get injured or offered as a sacrifice to product lucrative international revenue streams. I would just hope the brutal sadistic prison guards can help him improve his defensive work,” shared Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho, seemingly resigned to losing a star player.
Update: In yet another faux pas, Kylian Mbappé attempted to show his contrition by making a large charitable donation to the families of victims of the 1989 massacre at Tiananmen Square.
