Environmental Protection Agency Ask Government To Remove ‘Environmental’ & ‘Protection’ From Title If They’re Just Going To Ignore Them

PIGGYBACKING on a similar request by the Climate Change Advisory Council (CCAC) in the wake of news the government is failing miserably to meet its annual reforesting goal, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has asked for a new slim-line title to reflect how little its listened to, WWN can share.

“With the CCAC realising nothing they say registers with the government when it comes to the climate, the EPA also asks to just be called the ‘Agency’, since the government doesn’t take the ‘Environment’ and ‘Protection’ parts seriously,” shared one source seeking the name change.

“It also takes the pressure off us at the newly dubbed ‘A’ , we can stop writing up reports about how the State is failing on water quality measures, we can just be a boring plain agency that just ticks along, and stops the alarming reports that don’t get read,” added the source.

Responding to the feeling from several agencies and bodies that climate targets are being wilfully missed and substantive reports being ignored, the government was forthright in its denials.

“Oh, what that? The climax targets thingy? No, we’re not doing that anymore, we’re doing ‘poisoning rivers, cut price energy for data centres and being blackmailed into dropping carbon taxes by a few trucks stuck in a road’ now, that’s the new policy,” confirmed Minister Not for the Climate, Daragh O’Brien.