Local Man Still No Fucking Idea What He’s Being Asked To Vote On

WATERFORD man Dermot Hayes has admitted he hasn’t a fucking notion as to what he’s being asked to vote on this Friday in the 8th of March Referendum, WWN reports.

“My arse clenches every time I try to read the vaguely worded leaflet – my brain literally shuts down,” said Hayes, “the TV adverts, debates and posters don’t help either, it’s all a bit of a jumbled mess if I’m honest so I might just sit this one out – sure if we get it wrong, I’m sure the government will give us another chance to vote down the line like that Lisbon Treaty yolk”.

According to the government, Irish citizens will be asked to decide if changes should be made to Article 41 of the Irish Constitution called the Family Amendment and the Care Amendment, urging citizens to vote yes on both counts.

“Okay, so their suddenly concerned about people caring for their loved ones, right! That doesn’t sound suspicious at all considering their track record on such matters,” Hayes added, “I’m sure whatever it’s about it will work out in favour of the people involved and not some government ruse to try and get out of paying for something”.

Unable to make his mind up, the 37-year-old decided to see what his least favourite side of the right/left wing divide vote on and choose the opposite of them.

“If in doubt, just vote the other way to those pricks no matter if it’s the right or wrong thing to do,” Hayes concluded.