Category: HEALTH

Here’s What The HSE Is Fucking Up Today

AS HAS become apparent in recent years it is near impossible for the average person to keep abreast of the large volume of fuck ups overseen by senior officials at the HSE and in the Department of Health, which is why WWN has produced this daily guide to keep you informed. Apologies we haven’t done… Read more »

Googling Cancer Now The Number One Cause Of Cancer

A QUICK Google search on the leading causes of cancer has shown that googling the leading causes of cancer may be the leading cause of cancer, WWN can confirm. By simply asking the world-leading search engine for information on your symptoms, the average person is 10 times more likely to receive disheartening news which will… Read more »

Some Crap About Wine Causing Cancer, Just Keep Scrolling

HERE’S some crap research which somehow equates smoking 10 cigarettes to one bottle of wine but just keep on scrolling through your news feed because fuck this shit, wine is lovely so it is, WWN can confirm. UK researchers with obviously nothing else better to do have decided to help media outlets create clickbait style reports… Read more »

Gang Of Polish Lads Brought In To Fix HSE

FED up with the state of the Health Service Executive, the government have turned to a crew of highly recommended Polish lads who claim the job is ‘no problem’, and should be finished up by the weekend tops. Minister For Health Simon Harris found the Polish lads through a neighbour of his who claimed there wasn’t… Read more »

New Cannabis Research Paper Ideal For Making Roaches

A STARK new study that suggests the daily use of cannabis could lead to an increased likelihood of psychotic disorders has been found to be the perfect thing to print out on A4 paper and make little paper filters for joints, WWN can reveal. Cannabis users shy on roaches have been using the report, compiled… Read more »

Considering An Abortion? Read This First

ARE you currently experiencing a crisis pregnancy in Ireland? With the recently introduced legislation which governs the legislation of termination services available or not available in or near your area, subject to article 45 paragraph 9, hitherto referred to as the article, but not affiliated with ongoing applications for a reversal of said legislation, binding… Read more »