YESTERDAY evening’s briefing by the government on new measures, guidelines and restrictions in light of a rise in case numbers brought with it some consternation, frustration and one loud “what in the ever living fuck is going on?” While the government admitted that it was an error to take a drunken uncle’s speech at a… Read more »
WITH some truly unhinged people demanding more answers about the spread of Covid-19 cases in meat factories and Direct Provision centres, it has never been more important to distract the public with some scapegoats that takes the heat of real people who shouldn’t have to answer to the likes of you. WWN has partnered with… Read more »
WATERFORD family the Moores are smiling ear to ear after creating priceless family memories during their patriotic Irish staycation, WWN can report. Undiagnosed hypothermia and increasingly strained marriage aside, the postcard imperfect trip saw the family of five take in a camping trip in Galway which they enjoyed so much they cut it short by… Read more »
IN A BID to ‘get out ahead’ of any possible PR disaster and to limit any stress Irish students may experience, the Dept. of Education has confirmed that Leaving Cert students looking on in horror at the A-Levels results debacle in England need not worry, as their exam results will be bungled in a much… Read more »
“FECK, feck, feck, feck. Feck it altogether,” steamed a normally mild-mannered Taoiseach Micheál Martin while staring at the steady increase in Covid-19 cases in Ireland these past two weeks. Having previously expressed his ‘deep concern’ for the rise in cases, the Taoiseach was now expressing his ‘what’s deeper than deep?’ deep concerns about the fact… Read more »
PRESIDENT Donald Trump was today taken to one side by his advisors and family and urged not to treat his younger brother Robert’s funeral as ‘just another campaign rally’ to no avail, although Trump has agreed to keep the bashing of his rivals to an ‘absolute minimum’ during his eulogy. “Just like the hopes of… Read more »
SPEAKING from the fiery depths of hell, the dark lord Satan has broken his silence of the ongoing bullying allegations relating to chat show legend Ellen DeGeneres, stating that the 62-year-old was by far one of his kindest and caring friends. “You guys have heard of my buddy, Hitler, right? Well, Ellen is way nicer… Read more »
IN THE WAKE of latest video footage of blatant racism in Ireland emerging, this time involving a Chinese woman being pushed into a canal by a group of young people, WWN, as part of its Voices series gives a platform to people we really shouldn’t. This week is the turn of Angela Heaney who is… Read more »
SNOOKER legend Ronnie O’Sullivan has clinched a sixth World Title in whatever that tournament was that he competed in last week, following an 18-8 victory over the ‘supposedly very good’ Kyren Wilson at the weekend. O’Sullivan, who showed up at the Crucible because he had nothing to do at home, spent the majority of the… Read more »
PANICKED international pandemic monitors have discovered that Ireland has reached the ‘ah, sure fuck it’ stage of their pandemic response. Best exemplified by footage from Berlin D2 premises in Dublin and the decision of the head of Fáilte Ireland to swan off to Italy on holidays, Ireland is now solely relying on an Irish scientific… Read more »