Putin Asked If He Wants ‘The Gaddafi’ Or ‘The Saddam’

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IN ATTEMPT to bring his war crimes in Ukraine to an end, Vladimir Putin has been asked which unsavoury but just demise he would prefer with a suite of options offered to the Russian leader.

“Now ‘the Gaddafi’ isn’t for everyone but people will certainly remember it?” asked one sales person working at Dictator Demise Solutions, holding open a brochure with pages worth of the grisly deaths of dictators and war criminals of yore.

“I dunno why but when I look at you I can just see you being bayoneted up the arse,” continued the sales person, stressing that Putin didn’t have to decide today but it was going to have to happen sooner rather than later.

“Some people prefer the Hitler, it’s quick and you don’t have to involve anyone else, well other than your partner. And on the plus side you get the satisfaction of knowing conspiracy theorists claiming you’re alive and well in Argentina,” explained the sales person, giving it the hard sell.

“The Pol Pot one is a nice one – grow old and frail in prison… never mind I can see you’ve grown old and frail already. Let’s see what else do we have, ooh Idi Amin…what was his one again… growing old in Saudi Arabia…no actually we don’t offer that one, sorry. Now Saddam, this seems perfect for you. Tried by his own people for crimes against humanity and executed!”

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