Tag: instant

Local Politician Only Sorry They Got Caught

AFTER A recent spate of politicians being caught espousing racist rhetoric in social media posts, newspaper interviews and/or in the Dáil itself, the politicians involved have confirmed their carefully crafted groveling apologies are about as genuine as 4-striped runners with the word Adidose written on them. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am I… Read more »

Daniel O’Donnell Forced Once Again To Deny Part In Biggie & Tupac Killings

AGGRESSIVELY beating his chest while proclaiming “you’re looking at an innocent man” the long, neverending nightmare for Donegal crooner Daniel O’Donnell continues. O’Donnell has yet again been forced to distance himself from the murder of rapper Tupac Shakur in September 1996 and Biggie Smalls in March 1997 after being hauled in for questioning once more… Read more »

Weirdo Family Has No Lock On Bathroom Door

YET another visitor to the home of Waterford oddballs the O’Riordain family has fallen victim to the clan’s bizarre decision to not bother putting any form of locking mechanism on their bathroom door, WWN can confirm. Sean Walsh, 23, had dropped by to visit college pall William O’Riordain in his Tramore home earlier today, when… Read more »

All The Ways Prince Andrew’s Interview Could Have Gone Worse

IT’S the embarrassing, reputation-ruining PR nightmare of an interview everyone is talking about. Prince Andrew’s feeble attempt to justify his friendship with sex trafficker, offender and paedophile Jeffrey Epstein in an interview with the BBC’s Emily Maitlis had viewers scratching their heads, searching for the words which adequately do justice to the sort of ignorance,… Read more »

Beyoncé Set To Perform At Trump Impeachment Halftime Show

IN A desperate bid to garner interest from the lethargic American public, officials involved in the Trump impeachment proceedings have announced that Beyoncé Knowles will perform at today’s Superbowl-styled halftime show, along with an array of supporting acts, WWN can confirm. Citing poor concentration skills and general apathy among American voters, it was decided entertainment… Read more »

Greta Thunberg Ditches Climate Crusade After Falling For Bad Ass In Souped-Up Honda

OUTSPOKEN Scandinavian upstart Greta Thunberg has finally realised that there’s more to life than relentlessly campaigning against climate change after striking up a relationship with a 17-year-old boy racer who drives around town in a heavily-modded, petrol-chugging 1998 Honda Civic. Precocious Swede Thunberg proved herself to be a massive pain in the hole for world… Read more »