THERE IS considerable expectation within government and the HSE tonight that a one-off tax-free payment of €1,000 should be enough to stop nurses and doctors harping on about longstanding systemic issues with the health service for at least a decade. “The hope is that when a healthcare worker pipes up about the reduced ability for… Read more »
A SEEMINGLY IMPOSSIBLE premise that has plagued the great scientific minds from Curie to Einstein to whoever Elon Musk pays to write his cringe inducing tweets. But despite the level of interest, there has been no large scale study into whether it is possible to ‘drop the kids off at the pool’ without adding a… Read more »
U2 DRUMMER Larry Mullen broke down yesterday in an interview where he outlined just what it has been like to sit in the shadow of frontman Bono’s arse since the band’s inception in 1976. “The lads are blinded by the spotlights. I’m shadowed by Bono’s arse,” said Mullen, speaking during a rare Bono-less interview where he… Read more »
LEGAL experts have suggested that now would be a good time for people to reeducate themselves on all the ways to not jeopardise ongoing or upcoming court cases, WWN has learned. “There really has never been a better time to brush up on how helpful saying absolutely nothing online or in a public forum about… Read more »
AFTER a rough few weeks where he felt duty-bound to tip service staff and fast-food delivery drivers a decent amount, Waterford man Cathal McPartland can now go back to tipping little to nothing with a completely clear conscience. “Any driver that dropped chips into me over the Christmas got a fiver. A fiver! I wish… Read more »
DRINKERS around the country are hoping that the Taoiseach’s planned announcement on the easing of restrictions tomorrow takes place early in the day, instead of a late-afternoon speech that would leave very little time to organise the weekend. “I swear, it’s like these people have never arranged a bender in their whole lives,” said a… Read more »
RESPONDING to the widespread outrage at the news that thousands of hamsters are to be culled due to a Covid-19 outbreak, Hong Kong authorities have set the record straight in a bid to temper outcry and opposition. “No, there’s been a misunderstanding we have taken the decision to cull the hamsters because they staged a… Read more »
TWO of the world’s foremost experts in dressing up as ‘the loud obnoxious old women’ stereotype have come together for a cross-over movie that both parties are excited about, even if neither have really heard of each other. Believing that what the world needed more than anything else at this time was a movie featuring… Read more »
THERE have been widespread calls for an immediate rethinking of our relationship with dodgy pens which refuse to produce ink, as researchers reveal humans spend upwards of five years of their existence intensely scribbling blankly on pages in a hopeless effort to get pens to work. “For all our advancements in science – space flight,… Read more »
WATERFORD man Noel MacKovic welcomed Australia’s latest invitation to backpackers in the form of waiving the €313 visa application fees for those arriving in Australia within the next 12 weeks, WWN reports. “I can’t wait to pick fruit with fellow countrymen and have some crack, boy,” Mr. MacKovic told WWN at his John’s Park home…. Read more »