AN EXTENSIVE analysis carried out by the Institute for Studies of local woman Grainne Cunningham’s social media activity appears to confirm that the entirety of her online friendships consist of dispatching the fire emoji beneath photos. “Whether it’s a confessional status update, a picture of a night out, self-deprecating ‘what am I like’ posting or… Read more »
AN African American man with a life expectancy of just 24 has astounded the world by living another 35 years giving hope to tens of millions of his peers worldwide, WWN has learned. An educated fool with money on his mind, Artis Leon Ivey Jr. had been living on borrowed time since the mid-90s, defying… Read more »
GERMANY may have solved that whole ‘we’re buying all of our fossil fuels from a maniacal despot’ problem this week, following an ‘energy security’ deal with the honest and upfront United Arab Emirates, WWN can confirm. The move should ease fears that the country, and by extent the whole of Europe, had become too reliant… Read more »
LOCAL man Gavin Goggins otherwise spotless hoodie is perilously close to needing a spin in the washing machine after he spilled some tea on the sight of a previous stain, caused by yesterday’s take away, WWN can confirm. If Goggins redistribution of food stuffs and other debris on his hoodie continues at its current pace… Read more »
CONSIDER this your last warning. If you read beyond this point it could have a major impact of your Spotify playlists and your Netflix watchlist. John Lennon Beat his first wife Cynthia Lennon. You might not be able to hear this over the sound of you performing some mental gymnastics to talk around this, but… Read more »
THE CHILDREN of Ireland are indebted to her, but so few know of the mind behind the invention of the humble copybook. Today WWN speaks to Aisling Scannon about her remarkable contribution to Irish schooling. “It was the invention of homework; something de Valera and the Catholic Church invented when they were looking for a… Read more »
WINTER is coming. Which means it’s time for The Great British Bake-Off, the only British product that an Irish person is permitted to enjoy. Last night saw season 13 kick off with with 12 new bakers, 2 hosts, 2 judges, and more buns than your Aunt’s wake. Here’s how it all went down: We were… Read more »
IN one of the most crushing moments of his 45-year long life, nobody was around today to witness Westmeath man Robert O’Rourke’s ‘superhuman’ save of a glass that fell out of his kitchen cupboard as he opened the door, WWN can report. O’Rourke had been making himself a cup of tea when he went to… Read more »
UNABLE TO imagine anything more reckless than agreeing to a first company wide pay increase in a decade, local CEO Harry Conney has warned against such actions as it could spiral inflation out of control. “Raising wages as inflation increases will just further fuel inflation as workers spend money on ridiculous non-essential discretionary spending items… Read more »
A FRENCH man considered very good at them French movies has passed away at the age of 91. Revered by your one friend who watches them French ones for reasons other than the faint possibility of some nudity, has stated yer man was quare good and influential. Despite not directing even one Marvel movie and… Read more »