Tag: instant

Fish That Lives In The Deepest Part Of The Ocean And Has Never Seen Light, Also Hates James Corden

A HIDEOUS-LOOKING scaled monstrosity from the depths of the Laurentian Abyss has joined the majority of carbon-based lifeforms on this planet in the opinion that the Friends reunion was ‘very enjoyable’, but was ruined by the presence of British actor-turned-onmipresent TV host James Corden. “Tell me, does this being feature in many of your television… Read more »

Ulster Says ‘What The Fuck?’

THE DUP’s staunch, long-running ‘Ulster Says No’ stance on everything is currently undergoing a bit of a rethink, following one of the most turbulent months in the party’s storied history. “‘Ulster says yes to things but then says no when we really find out what they were’ doesn’t really have much of as ring to… Read more »

Grandmother Didn’t Think ‘Retirement’ Would Mean ‘Become Full-Time Childminder’

HAVING ‘hung up her boots’ after nearly 50 years of employment, 66-year-old Waterford grandmother Eilish Cannaghvan is looking forward to spending her retirement relaxing, apart from the 8 hours a day she’s going to spend dropping off and collecting her 3 grandkids, as well as feeding them, entertaining them and generally being their full-time childminder…. Read more »

It’s The DWWNERU (Daily WWN Euros Round Up)

THE DENMARK game had an understandably emotional atmosphere pre-match as a number of moving tributes were paid to Christian Eriksen. A giant no.10 jersey was unveiled before the game; a nice gesture but it’s hoped they’ve kept the gift receipt as it probably won’t fit him. As a mark of respect to Christian Eriksen, Belgium… Read more »