Tag: instant

‘Share Packs’ To Be Renamed ‘Packs’

LARGER-than-normal sized packs of crisps and confectionary are to be recalled and rebranded, following a landmark legal ruling that declared eating the entire contents of one of these so-called ‘share packs’ is easily within the remit of a single person. Share packs, the slightly bigger version of snacks such as Cadburys chocolates, crisps such as… Read more »

‘God Save The Queen’ To Be Replaced By ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ Theme

PREPARATIONS are underway for the changes that will be required to outward-facing Britishness such as anthems and flags ahead of the October 31st Brexit deadline, with a composer already hired to change the traditional ‘God Save The Queen’ anthem into something more along the lines of HBOs ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ theme. The move comes following… Read more »

Caitlyn Jenner Tipped As Next Bond

AS the new title for Daniel Craig’s final outing as James Bond is revealed as ‘No Time To Die’, die hard Bond fan’s worst fears have been realised as Caitlyn Jenner is being heavily tipped to take over the role. “It’s bad enough No Time To Die has Bond becoming a virgin beta cuck male… Read more »

Dublin Sick Of Carrying Rest Of Country On Its Back

DUBLINERS emerged today to hold an emergency press conference expressing their desire for the rest of the county to buck up its idea and start helping out around here. “We pay most of the income tax, corporation tax, you name it we’re the ones carrying you workshy, low income bastards on our shoulders and it’s… Read more »