NEWLY, medium and long-term singletons have been encouraged by the Nation’s supportive best friends to go out and get the ride, WWN can confirm. While acknowledging that their encouragement may occasionally veer into the overly insistent and excitable sort of support, friends have nevertheless insisted that ‘if you want that dick, then get that dick’… Read more »
CASUALLY USING your phone or casually not using your phone, the problem consumers face today is the fear that were they to open their mouths within earshot of a phone it would be listening in, waiting to log what is said and using it in a sinister way. Targeting you with ads or services. Manipulating… Read more »
LARGER-than-normal sized packs of crisps and confectionary are to be recalled and rebranded, following a landmark legal ruling that declared eating the entire contents of one of these so-called ‘share packs’ is easily within the remit of a single person. Share packs, the slightly bigger version of snacks such as Cadburys chocolates, crisps such as… Read more »
FANS of true crime and unsolved mysteries have propelled the podcast run by members of An Garda Síochána to unprecedented levels of success, as witnessed by the groundbreaking 9,000th episode set to hit airwaves later today. Millions of fans from all around the world tune in to ‘Listen Here, You’, the popular podcast where Irish… Read more »
PREPARATIONS are underway for the changes that will be required to outward-facing Britishness such as anthems and flags ahead of the October 31st Brexit deadline, with a composer already hired to change the traditional ‘God Save The Queen’ anthem into something more along the lines of HBOs ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ theme. The move comes following… Read more »
IN A SERIES of events no one could have possibly predicted, the media has yet again decided to report nothing but US president Donald Trump’s most mock-worthy comments which are devoid of any substance and only serve to soak up all the media’s fickle attention, instead of putting the policies pursued by his administration to… Read more »
RELIEF has washed over a panicked world as their fears that retailing giant Amazon Inc and its warehouses had been set ablaze have proven incorrect, WWN can confirm. The shocking news that over 73,000 fires had been set this year alone was greeted with significant outcry but quickly subsided when it was revealed it was… Read more »
AS the new title for Daniel Craig’s final outing as James Bond is revealed as ‘No Time To Die’, die hard Bond fan’s worst fears have been realised as Caitlyn Jenner is being heavily tipped to take over the role. “It’s bad enough No Time To Die has Bond becoming a virgin beta cuck male… Read more »
Today British prime minister Boris Johnson is floating the idea of Ireland leaving EU rules, laws and regulations temporarily to effectively rejoin Britain in a bid to help Britain avoid the dreaded backstop, something the British government came up with to avoid a hard border in Northern Ireland in the wake of Britain voting to… Read more »
DUBLINERS emerged today to hold an emergency press conference expressing their desire for the rest of the county to buck up its idea and start helping out around here. “We pay most of the income tax, corporation tax, you name it we’re the ones carrying you workshy, low income bastards on our shoulders and it’s… Read more »