Tag: instant

White House Unveil Official Lapdog

US PRESIDENT Joe Biden has unveiled an official White House lapdog to compliment ‘First Dogs’ Champ and Major, WWN understands. “Oh Boris is very attentive, but sadly not too bright. He does hang on President Biden’s every word though,” shared one official with knowledge of the talking Biden has done towards his new lapdog. Like… Read more »

‘Security Expert’ Tells WWN How To Handle Anti-Maskers In Shops

ONE LOCAL Krav Maga enthusiast and self-confessed security expert kindly sat down with WWN earlier today and explained how to solve a growing problem faced by retailers; that of belligerent, aggressive and troubling making individuals who refuse to wear masks when shopping. “Lights out, y’know, it’s that simple,” explained Derek Dollins while grabbing an imaginary… Read more »

“Lockdown Might Last Into March” Taoiseach Tells Nation That Already Figured This Out 4 Weeks Ago

THANKING the Taoiseach and other government representatives for the ‘heads up’, a slightly embarrassed-for-the-government public informed the Taoiseach that they are actually about 4-6 weeks ahead of the government on most Covid-19 related realisations. “No honestly, thanks for letting us know and that, nice to have you fully caught on ike the rest of us,”… Read more »