YOUR ONE STOP SHOP for all the twists and turns from today’s campaign trail: As the drug gang violence continues to spill out onto the streets politicians have denied this is a ‘hot button election issue’ as “most of the communities terrorised by the gangs don’t bother voting”. Fine Gael went on to ask the… Read more »
THE STREAMING giant Netflix has named Ireland as the location for the next few series of the popular ‘Narcos’ series, stating the country was the obvious choice after recent drug-related headlines. Netflix is sticking close to the winning formula of a filming in a narco-state terrorised by brazen criminals, enabled by inept political leadership from… Read more »
WHAT is being labeled as a ‘simple’ administration error that ‘could have happened to any one of the bodies’ being stored in the New York City coroner’s office, the body belonging to billionaire sex trafficker and friend to the famous and the powerful, Jeffrey Epstein, has been mistakenly destroyed via burning before being dumped in… Read more »
AFTER news that a 17-year-old child was murdered and had his body dismembered as gangland violence reached a barbaric low of incomprehensible sub-human savagery, one concerned local cocaine user expressed hope that horrific murders don’t disrupt his regular weekly supply. “Ah it’s only a bit a coke,” confirmed semi-regular, only when I’m out out cocaine… Read more »
STRATEGISTS at Sinn Féin headquarters have devised a foolproof plan to ensure their party receives the same amount of airplay on RTÉ over the course of the 2020 General Election by dropping snippets of extreme racism, misogyny, right-wing nonsense and outright lies into their rhetoric from now on. Party leader Mary Lou McDonald is not… Read more »
ANNOUNCING his intention to live forever and rule over Russia well into the 25th century, President Vladimir Putin has confirmed that he called a meeting yesterday with Russian PM Dmitri Medvedev and his government to inform them that they had voluntarily resigned. “We can confirm that we resigned willingly as part of a constitutional shake… Read more »
THROUGHOUT the 2020 general election campaign WWN’s vast team of roving reporters will bring all you the latest from around the country as politicians try to sell their uninspired and poorly thought out short-term vision for Ireland: Unveiling their ‘A Future To Look Forward To’ slogan Fine Gael outlined their intention to focus on Ireland’s… Read more »
WITH hundreds of viewers and two Academy Awards nominations in the bag, it seems people can’t get enough of Netflix’s “The Two Popes” and well, they’re in luck, because the streaming service has just OK’d a sequel provisionally titled ‘The Two Popes: Pope Harder’. Detailing the story of the transition of Popeness from Pope Benedict… Read more »
STRUNG out on his daily hit of digitally infused dopamine, local man and wannabe influencer Jack Maher has been forced to resort to cross sharing his Instagram posts to Facebook, due to the social network hiding the number of likes from followers. Despite migrating to Instagram because ‘he was sick of all the old whingers… Read more »
AA ROADWATCH has added a new ‘crimewatch’ section to its traffic monitoring services, in a bid to cut down on hefty waiting times for commuters around Dublin city centre due to gangland murders and the like. The measures are being taken following complaints about substantial traffic jams caused by gangland shootings, CAB raids, shoot-outs and… Read more »