Tag: instant

Local Nudist Refuses To Wear Face Mask

“IT’S a matter of principle” said local nudist Cormac Kenetty, standing naked at the entrance to his local Super Valu as the brisk wind gently caressed his substantial arse hair, making it sway like it was conducting an entrancing balletic dance. Months of lockdown restrictions and the shuttering of many amenities and businesses has proven… Read more »

Local Man An Expert In The German League All Of A Sudden

STUDIOUS and prolific, Olympic-level bullshitter Conor Shellin has been given a new lease of life thanks to the behind-closed-doors return of the Bundesliga. Decamped to his couch all weekend and mainlining hours of football after weeks of devastating withdrawals, Shellin was a hyperactive presence on WhatsApp, Twitter and Instagram delivering stats, facts and opinions on… Read more »

Bathroom Towel Sees Man Through His 20s, 30s & 40s

A COUNTY Waterford man has thanked the unknown makers of a bathroom towel he has had for the past three decades in a moving tribute today, likening the absorbent cotton fabric body dryer to the direct equivalent of a woman having a favourite bra, WWN reports. Speaking from his home earlier today, Reece Tobin admitted… Read more »