Tag: instant

Twitter Users Return To Facebook With Tail Between Legs

‘WELL, well, well!’ stated Facebook boss Mark Zuckerberg today, as Twitter refugees arrived back to his social media platform by the thousand amid chaos over on Elon Musk’s flailing app. “Would you look who it is, the same people who said Facebook was ‘too boring’, ‘too full of Minions memes’, ‘too much of a platform… Read more »

Dublin Bus Unveil First Monster Bus

SWIFTLY responding to a video circulating of one of their buses mounting a path to avoid traffic congestion, Dublin Bus has confirmed a new addition to its fleet. “It’s on a trial basis at first but if it’s successful we’ll convert the whole fleet,” said a Dublin Bus spokesperson unveiling a number 16 monster struck… Read more »

Government Propose Paying Childcare Providers In Play-Doh

MINISTER for Deaf Ears Roderic O’Gorman has suggested making a shortfall in core funding for smaller childcare providers in Play-Doh after 500 ECCE childcare service providers closed for the day in protest at a lack of financial supports. “But you can make loads of cool things out of it. Look I made a fully functioning… Read more »

“We’re Not Called The TaliBAN For Nothing Lolz” Taliban Defends Banning Women From Parks

“GUYS IT’S literally in the name,” explained a spokesman for the Taliban defending their decision to ban women from parks and funfairs in Kabul, which hasn’t drawn much condemnation because countries are busy with their own problems. The Taliban’s slow suffocation of women’s freedoms has been met with condemnation from a number of western nations… Read more »

Republicans Shocked Running Deranged Women Hating Candidates Not A Big Vote Getter

SENIOR US Republicans are scratching their heads after the party failed to match pre-election predictions of huge gains. “Slogans such as ‘we’ll make you carry your rapist’s baby even if you’re 13’ just didn’t connect with folks as we’d hoped, Dr Oz saying women need a politician’s permission for an abortion was our most liberal… Read more »

Man Felt Nothing Watching John Lewis Ad, Nothing

THE latest John Lewis Christmas advert has been met with tears, smiles and universal acclaim from everyone except Waterford man Owen Carroll who didn’t feel a flicker of emotion throughout. The commercial, which features a middle-aged man learning how to skateboard so that he can have something in common with the vulnerable child he and… Read more »