Junior Minister Who Resigned In Disgrace Expected To Be Reappointed As Junior Minister Within The Year


FINE GAEL’s Damien English has resigned as junior minister after The Ditch revealed he lied about home ownership in a declaration to Meath County Council to secure planning permission on a new home.

Apologising now that he’s been caught red-handed years later English admitted it was wrong of him to do so, deeming his conduct to be so unbecoming of a junior minister that he resigned his position. However, conveniently it is not so unbecoming that he has to resign as a TD and give up that sweet pay packet.

“English’s resignation has kick started the ‘sorry cycle’ which in Irish politics means he’s just got to keep his mouth shut and stay out of sight until being reappointed at a later date when Fine Gael say ‘lessons have been learned'” confirmed one expert on Ireland.

While the exact date of his reappointment to something like Junior Minister For Planning Permission Applications is not yet known, leading bookies have paid out on bets that he will return within the year.

“Ah c’mon now, give the man a break. Didn’t he resign once he was found out, you’re not suggesting politicians should just abide by regulations in the first place are you?” offered a Fine Gael spokesperson, who lamented the fact that it’s this sort of accountability that is putting young people off entering politics.

English will now have to sit in the designed bold corner of the Dáil with Robert Troy for an unspecified amount of time.