IN ONE of the first major speeches at the UN’s COP27 summit in Egypt, Neville an Indonesian sea turtle and climate activist decried the pathetic efforts of world leaders to date in the fight against climate change. “This sham is sponsored by Coca Cola too, and how do you think I got the necklace I’m… Read more »
FINAL campaigning is underway in the United States ahead of the midterm elections tomorrow, leaving many people with very little time to prepare an opinion and appear well-versed and knowledgeable on the matter. If you’ve left it too late to actually know what’s going on in the elections, don’t worry! You can simply apply the… Read more »
HERALDED at a world’s first and a stunning breakthrough in the fields of psychiatry and neurobiology the Irish government has been diagnosed with a debilitating and terrifying phobia of building social housing, dubbed ‘socialhousingaphobia’. The announcement comes shortly after the government is set to miss yet another housing target, this time failing to €2bn behind… Read more »
BIRDS across Ireland have been advised of the latest lockdown measures introduced in a bid to flatten the bird flu curve with the following guidelines as stipulated by the National Aviary Health Emergency Team (NAHET). Delivering the new measures, head of NAHET Dustin the Turkey revealed the following measures: Social distancing of 2 millimetres is… Read more »
ECLIPSING the outrage felt by random faceless Twitter accounts at Paul Mescal not wearing a poppy on the Graham Norton Show, Irish media sites are reportedly ‘livid’ with hope you will click on one of 437 articles claiming Paul Mescal is to be executed in the tower of London by irate Britons. “The Brits are… Read more »
RUMOURS persist that Meta, the parent company of Facebook, are set to announce largescale layoffs but now WWN sources can confirm Mark Zuckerberg is insisting on delivering the news via group meeting in his virtual reality metaverse. “Mark I reaaally don’t think staff will like this,” said one PR exec, pleading with Zuckerberg to announce… Read more »
WWN WAS unable to attend to annual Sinn Féin Ard Fheis as we were having a whip round the local pub in a bid to pay Elon Musk for a blue tick, our colleagues in the media the Irish Independent were kind enough to furnish WWN with a copy of the happenings at the RDS… Read more »
ACTING on the hard wired impulse within him to minimise all threats to his loved ones, local man Fergal Christie has quickly acted on the advice administered by the Dept of Agriculture. “I dunno why the Minister for Agriculture is the one in charge of telling us, I’m just telling ye what I read now… Read more »
SCIENTISTS in Ecuador are hailing the discovery of a new species of rain frog which is exceedingly suspicious in nature. “I’ve been hurt before” explained the frog, discovered only in the last week by a group of researchers. “Trust no one, only snakes around here,” the frog, named Fred, said referring to its main predator… Read more »
THE LORD Mayor of Dublin Caroline Conroy’s decision to scrap the live crib outside the Mansion House continues to divide opinion with increasing pressure to restore it with added historically accurate participants, WWN can reveal. “For the sake of complete accuracy it only seems fair. They shouldn’t be hard to find around the city either,”… Read more »