Tag: instant

Teacher Can’t Wait To Use ‘Calculated Grades’ To Fuck Over Prick Student He Hates

THE FORMAL ANNOUNCEMENT that students of this year’s Leaving Cert will receive ‘calculated grades’ or sit exams at a later date has been welcomed by all teachers whose favourite phrase is ‘you’ll amount to nothing’, WWN can confirm. While the ongoing global pandemic has created an endless variety of complex problems that have unbelievably easy… Read more »

Sean O’Rourke Snapped Up By MTV

RTÉ have made the decision to sell off as much lands as possible and hike the license fee as high as it will go in a bid to hang onto their remaining talent, after retiring staff member Sean O’Rourke was eagerly snapped up by MTV following his decision to step down from his mid-morning radio… Read more »

Ireland Expected More From Millionaire Property Developer

THE nation has updated its status from ‘shocked’ to ‘profoundly disappointed’ this week after videos emerged of one of the country’s favourite multimillionaire property tycoons acting in a disrespectful manner, WWN unfortunately reports. Champion of the people, Johnny Ronan, singlehandedly tarnished decades worth of hard work by property developers who all maintain famously flawless reputations… Read more »

X Æ A-12 Already Needs Software Update

A BAFFLED Elon Musk is to spend most of today on the phone with customer support after realising that his new baby X Æ A-12 requires a software update despite Musk ‘only getting it a few days ago’. “Why don’t they ship them with the most up-to-date software” mused the billionaire and partner of Grimes,… Read more »