Tag: instant

Fine Gael & Fianna Fáil: The Differences

AS THE SHADOW of an another election emerges upon the horizon like a glorious sun-shaped pile of excrement, stinking everything up and covering it in darkness, many astute political commentators have observed that to the average voter there appears to be next to no difference between the country largest parties; bitter rivals Fine Gael and… Read more »

A&E Trolley Bays Launched With Euro Coin Slots

USING advanced technology first utilised by the supermarket industry, the Minister for Health Simon Harris has launched new A&E trolley bays with euro coin slots to curb the problem of overcrowding. “We’ve looked at why there’s record numbers of patients on trolleys, and since we already know it’s nothing to do with the government or… Read more »

Cost Of Giving Your Kids Annoying D4 Accents Increases

WITH prices rising by as much as €413 per pupil per year at some fee-paying schools it is becoming increasingly expensive for parents to provide their children with the chance to develop a grating pseudo-American D4 accent, WWN can reveal. ‘Growing demand’ for private education is being used by private schools as the reason for… Read more »

Fish ‘Very Fishy’, Insists Restaurant Customer

AN INDEPENDENT investigation is underway at a county Limerick restaurant this Monday evening after a portion of fish was reported to have smelled and tasted like fish, WWN can confirm. Staff at The Clam Pot have expressed concern over the unusual case, forcing management to close the establishment temporarily until a full investigation is complete…. Read more »

Exclusive: Inside Trump’s War Room

THE IRANIAN military has hit US bases in Iraq. Ballistic missiles fizzed through the sky on their way to making explosive impact on Iraqi soil, the Middle East, and political stability across the world. When such catastrophic things occur, there’s only place you’ll find the president of the United States and that’s in the ‘situation… Read more »

Revealed: The DUP’s New Year’s Resolutions

IT’S all change in the world of Northern Irish politics, as the DUP have announced that they are willing to get back into talks to restore the NI Executive, having recovered form last year’s horrific under-bus mangling that they suffered during Brexit negotiations. Having seemingly turned over a new leaf, the DUP released a comprehensive… Read more »

Iran To Attack US By Just Leaving Trump To Run Country Into Ground

THE IRANIAN government is now officially pursuing a ‘hands off’ approach to retaliating to any further attacks by US President Donald Trump, with senior military officials in the Middle Eastern country concluding there was nothing more damaging to the safety, health and prosperity of American people than simply leaving Trump to continue running the country… Read more »