Tag: instant

Ireland Set Up Garda Station In Tiananmen Square

IN DIRECT retaliation for the continued presence of a secretive Chinese police presence on Dublin’s Capel Street, the Irish government have established a garda station on Beijing’s Tiananmen Square. The station, a typical granite stone structure, was sent brick by brick to Beijing and as is the custom with Irish stations it will only ever… Read more »

People Who Lost Their Minds Over ‘Up The RA’ Song Awful Quiet On Planned Loyalist Terror Attack

SKY SPORTS presenters were unavailable for comment today as the island of Ireland came to terms with the news that the UVF and UDA had been planing a terrorist attack in Ireland, potentially targeting Irish government ministers. “I’ve no comment until such a time you can provide me with video evidence these Loyalists were doing… Read more »

Musk Bored Already

SOURCES close to Elon Musk have confirmed that his purchase of social media platform Twitter has done nothing to fill the aching hole in his heart, and that he’s already looking to see what he’ll buy next to maybe make him feel something, anything. Musk, currently the world’s richest man from a net worth standpoint,… Read more »

One Less Dickhead To Worry About

JAIR BOLSONARO’S defeat in the Brazilian presidential election by Lula Da Silva has officially reduced the number of dickheads the world has to worry about by a single digit, WWN can reveal. “The bigger the dickhead and more important the position they hold, the greater the worry. Ken in accounts might always forget to put… Read more »

Yeezy x Guineys Coming In 2024

FOLLOWING a tumultuous week that saw sportswear giants Adidas sever their professional ties over a rash of antisemitic comments, controversial rap superstar Kanye ‘Ye’ West has announced the next phase of his Yeezy fashion line will be produced in collaboration with Irish retailers Guineys. Mr. Ye took to Twitter to announce the project and stated… Read more »

Germany To Get Stoned In Bid To Deal With Energy Crisis

IN A bid to soften the blow of the ongoing energy crisis and the rise in cost-of-living, German Health Minister Karl Lauterbach said the country is to legalise the purchase and possession of small amounts of marijuana for recreational use, as well as its production. “Cannabis is also useful in pain relief which should carry… Read more »