Pope Agrees To End Of Tensions With US If Trump Recites 400,000 Hail Marys

VATICAN CITY – Chicago born pontiff Pope Leo has outlined his terms for a ceasing of hostilities between the current US administration and the Pope, WWN understands.

The Trump White House, frequently appalled and enraged at the Pope’s public utterances in favour of peace and goodwill to all mankind, had sent Secretary of State Marco Rubio to the Vatican for talks, during which the Pope issued his terms for a more harmonious relationship.

“We totted it up, it’s there in clear writing, the priests in our Sinning Data Analytics department say it’s 400,117 Hail Marys, that should just about atone,” confirmed the Pope’s team, outlining how Donald Trump had accumulated a dizzying number of sins which in turn create the need to atone.

“And for a guy who is on the record as saying he is worried he won’t get into heaven, I think he should take the deal, it’d be the first deal he’s made for some time that hasn’t involved the devil, which is a bonus too,” offered the Pope in a behind closed doors meeting earlier this afternoon in Rome.

While Marco Rubio accepted the terms in principle as outlined he expressed a weary fatalism, asking the Pope to prepare for Donald Trump’s answer which may not be satisfactory.

“He’s just going to hear the words ‘Hail Mary’ and start character-assassinating Mary as a cheating single mother who sent her son to his death. I just want to get out ahead of that, so it’s not a shock. And, yup, exactly, correct you will almost certainly have to endure AI images of Trump making out with her, sorry in advance,” confirmed Rubio as the formal talks drew to a close.