A Real Christmas Miracle: Local Mother Gets 5 Minutes Peace


ECLIPSING the birth of Jesus as the most astonishing Christmas miracle ever visited upon humanity, local mother Shona Kelly has been granted five minutes of unbroken peace and quiet.

Having endured endless tugs on her sleeves from her children, ceaseless inquiries from her husband about when food would be ready and overbearing suggestions and instructions from in-laws it was feared Shona would be on a nonstop stress rollercoaster from until the new year.

However, the stars aligned briefly for 300 seconds and an eerie silence broke through the house replacing shouts, screams, rows and cries of ‘Mam, Mam, Mam, Mam, Mam’.

“Naturally I was suspicious at first, I had to check every room in the house to see what nefarious scheme the little pups had hatched, but it turns out them across the road got a new puppy and were showing it off so I had the house to myself,” revealed Shona.

Shona had entertained the idea of going out and joining her family before it dawned on her that puppies are a plentiful, every day occurrence she could experience anytime unlike the rare once in a millennium silence.

“It was paradise, I even had nearly enough time to sit down and make a cup of tea. I’m truly blessed,” Shona said still riding the natural high of being left the fuck alone in peace for a few minutes.