Parents Can’t Believe They Have To Give Santa All The Credit For This
PARENTS across the country are today bemoaning the fact that their months of sacrifice and saving to provide a memorable Christmas morning for their kids is all going to be credited to a ‘non-existent fat fucker in a red suit’, WWN can confirm.
“Oh you asked Santa for all this stuff and he just delivered them, did he? Well where is Santa when my credit card bill lands in January, that’s what I want to know,” sighed one Waterford father we spoke to, who admitted he will appreciate his kids ageing out of Santa so he can finally get a little gratitude.
“Oh I suppose Santa went online with this PlayStation 5 to download updates and have it ready-to-play on Christmas morning, all hooked up to the Wi-Fi and all?” fumed another mother, who had to look up three YouTube videos just to make sure her kids weren’t waiting around to play FIFA for too long.
“Every year the kids fawn over Santa on Christmas morning. Where’s our thanks? That’s what I want to know,” agreed another pair of parents. “Was Santa up and down to the attic five times in the depths of winter? Did Santa have to drive into town in the pissing rain at the last minute to get that thing our littlest child forgot to mention but really wanted? Funny, because I thought that was us. I swear next year we’re converting to Judaism!”
Meanwhile, workers toiling in terrible conditions in electronics and toy factories across China have added that those elves can go fuck themselves too.