HSE Managers Converted Into Hospital Beds As Part Of Emergency Measures

AFTER AN all-hands-on-deck meeting emergency measures have been implemented across Ireland’s beleaguered A&E departments, with much needed help coming in the form of spare managers agreeing to be converted into temporary beds.

“Unlike nurses and doctors who are all doing the work of five people, we have five managers doing the work of one person – so with a lot of them idle it seemed the obvious decision in such a time of crisis,” explained a frontline source.

“Managers with more ‘padding’ will definitely be comfier than the floor, a chair or a trolley,” added the source frontline source, who admitted fitting them with wheels wasn’t pleasant or easy.

However, the use of managers as beds has sparked concern of knock-on effects for other essential elements of the HSE

“Who will shout down underlings taking accurate minutes in meetings which could be subject to Freedom of Information requests by journalists? Who is going to discuss sitting on reports and ignoring recommendations? Who is going to plan how to throw a doctor or nurse under the bus when a tragedy these very healthcare workers explicitly warned would happen if issues weren’t addressed happens? Who is going to ask the Dept of Health for €500mn in extra spending and then be completely unable to account for where the money was spent?” one person cried out.

Meanwhile, Minister for Stephen Donnelly, Stephen Donnelly, has acted swiftly by stating “the thing that happens every year without fail because we refuse to fix the root causes has come out of nowhere again” before adding “the inadequate plan we planned for when the thing we knew would happen happened is inadequate, this is a shock to us all”.

Elsewhere, private hospitals that regularly choke and clog up public capacity in hospitals further exacerbating problems have courageously said they will ‘do everything to help’ for the right fee.