Guy Who Attends Dáil 86 Times A Year Insisting Healthcare Staff Work Around The Clock

A MAN who does not return to his place of work until the 18th of January has insisted that healthcare staff already working around the clock should switch to seven-day working weeks in a bid to solve the problem they had consistently warned him about.

“This seems fair, we’ve all got to pull together. We’re all the same in the healthcare game, me a nurse and him a TD who will get €50k worth of ‘parachute payments’ if he fails to get reelected,” confirmed one nurse, who is delighted her compassion for patients is being manipulated and exploited once more.

Having visited the hospitals once they reached crisis point rather than visiting weeks or months before to ask what is needed to avert problems, Minister for Health Stephen Donnelly has made it clear that it is preferable for staff to move to a seven-day working week, something he may discuss with colleagues in the Dáil on one of the 86 days it sits, although mandatory attendance for each day is not required.

Similarly, the acting head of the HSE, an organisation that has failed to fill vacancies which if filled would mean it was not necessary to work seven-day weeks, has confirmed that overworked staff will be guilted into overworking some more.

“I’m glad we’ve had this chat, see you this time next year for the exact same scenario? great,” confirmed healthcare workers.